Are you Okay?

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

It's 5am in the morning and I'm still awake.  Annoyed at my inability to sleep, I roll to my right and stare at my husband, Noel.  Fitfully, Noel shifts onto his back then tosses his whole body in a quick spin to his left.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I'm falling!"  I watch in confusion as Noel grasps at the air.  Low guttural sounds and desperate panting fill the air.  Quickly, I grab Noel's hands.  Is it a nightmare?  Is he asleep?  Turning on my bedside lamp, I gaze at my husband.  His eyes are tightly shut.  His entire body is frozen rigid with tension.  

"Noel.  Noel, open your eyes and look at me!"

Eyes open and looking into mine, I observe Noel's eyes flick rapidly right and left (nystagmus).  He squeezes his eyes shut.  "Everything's spinning.  So dizzy.  Dizzy!  I feel like I'm falling!"

I don't know what to do.  Noel's not dreaming, he's awake.  What's going on?  "Noel, feel my hands, I'm not moving.  Keep your eyes shut.  Your body is laying in bed, not moving.  Nothing is moving right now.  Take deep breaths.  Breathe."

God, help!  I don't know what's wrong with my husband.  Give me wisdom, keep me calm.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen. 

Slowly, Noel calms down and drifts off into a light sleep.  Alertly, I lay watching him for any reoccurrence of whatever just happened.  Nothing.  Bit by bit, I allow myself to relax.  I watch as Noel rolls onto his back.  Again, he cries out and grasps the air.  Again he calls out, "I'm falling!"  Again, I grab his hands and speak softly but firmly as he calms down.

Over and over again, I observe Noel desperately wail in fear; his voice tortured with distress.  Every turn of his head, he gets dizzy.  Lack of movement allows him to calm down.  Light and moving objects make him nauseous.  

Thank you God all my siblings came to visit today!  A moist hand towel is applied over Noel's eyes and tied in place.  I find a YouTube video describing BPPV (benign paroxysmal positional vertigo), a disorder where crystals in the inner ear get stuck and send wrong signals to the brain that the body is spinning.  The video also shows the Epley maneuver, uses gravity in an attempt to clear the crystals back into their original position; there's a high chance that it won't work to completely alleviate Noel's symptoms... But a whole day of watching my husband flinch, groan, cry in distress tears at my heart.  His skin is drawn, pale, and covered in sweat.  He can't continue like this!

My brother, Winston, guides Noel's head to the left and helps him lay down with his head angled backwards.  Immediately, Noel panics as vertigo assails his senses.  My youngest brother, Christopher, holds a pink hospital bucket to Noel's face as he vomits liquid bile into the container.  Calmly, I command Noel to focus on his breathing as he continues to heave and groan; there's nothing else any of us can do.  As the vertigo settles, Winston guides Noel into the next step of the Epley maneuver.  Again, Noel throws up.  This time, my sister, Jessica, grabs the bucket, holding it for Noel.  Step by step, we continue.  I don't remember how much time passes by but the air is thick with tension, bile scents the air.  We work together as a family and repeat the maneuver until Noel only vomits twice throughout the procedure.  Enough is enough... I don't think Noel can take any more repetitions.  At least, Noel can now sit back, open his eyes nod even turn his head a little.  Progress.

Thank you, Father God, for providing Noel's mom to take care of both Noel and I as we lay weakly in bed: food served to us warm in bed, jello, cool towels for Noel and massages for me.  *wide grin*  Thank you, God, for family willing to be a part of the messiness of being sick.  Thank you, Father, for a co-worker's suggestion to use vibration with the Epley maneuver; Noel can now freely whip his head right and left without vertigo!  Lord in heaven, thank you for my increase in strength this week so I can crawl with more ease in and out of bed.  Thank you for loving us so much that even in the darkest times when both Noel and I are hopeless and helpless, you are working to provide for our needs!

Thank you everyone for your support and prayers!  I am able to continue in my struggles through the protection and strength you provide through your prayers.  Because of you all, I am where I am today.  Thank you.  *deep bow*

Prayer request:

1.  Noel can freely move, turn, spin without any unusual residual vertigo or headaches or fatigue.

2.  I need to face the pain of massaging the hardened fluid over my abdomen so the swelling will go away... and pray that it does.  

3.  Currently not taking the methadone for pain management since this medication is the one causing severe fluid retention.  May God help me manage my pain in place of the methadone.

4.  I'm considering placing acupuncture on hold so that God can work in my body and demonstrate his hand at work in my health over any human intervention.  

5.  I want to clearly hear and follow God's guidance in all my health care decisions.

Kristy flopping by the heater with Rogue: