Where I stand

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Today, I rest outside.  Sitting in the sun, reading God's word, meditating on my life... where I've been and where I'm going.  Vrooooommmmm... what?!?  The gardener is cutting the grass.  Wow look!  The air is filled with dust motes and grass particles.  Flickering light, glancing off small blades of grass, dancing and floating in the breeze.  Beautiful. Ummmmm... maybe not so neat?  Looking down at myself, my skin is coated in a thin film of dust and particles of grass.  *grimace*  Brushing at my skin, the dust just sticks to me even more! 

Huh?  It's quiet again? Just like that, the gardener is gone.  Looking up, I quietly watch two ravens chasing each other over rooftops.  Birds chirp. Bugs crawl.  My lemon tree is finally growing new leaves and starting to bud.  YAY!!!  I can't wait for home-grown lemons!  *drool*

Sudden gusting wind.  Swaying trees.  Little tree buttons pinging against the house.  A black bird lands to rest then disappears.  Fragile blossoms plucked petal by petal, flying in a haze like drifting snow.  Lashing wind, rustling leaves, creaking branches, glimmering light.  In the abrupt absence of wind, there is silence.  Calm.  Peace.  Gently swaying shadows.  Floating dust.  The quiet made more apparent by the violence of the wind before.

Swirling around me is God's creation.  Power.  Sound.  Depth.  Life.  Trees rooting deep, weathering the wind.  Broken and torn but alive.  Reaching.  Growing.  Enduring. 

I want to be like a tree.  I want my roots planted deep and firm.  I want my arms always reaching higher and higher into the unknown.  I want my life to flex during strong winds.  To stand strong... always growing, always changing, never giving up.  I want the strength to support others.  I want the courage to be supported. I want a heart to love as Jesus loves.  I want to serve with humility and not pride.  I want my hope based on God's promises.  I will live my life filled with purpose.  With God leading the way, giving me strength, direction, courage... I will stand, defiant in any storm. 

Come.  Stand with me.  Two are always stronger than one.  Three even stronger.  With all the friends and family I have and God by my side, I cannot fall, at least not very far.  *wry smile*  I may stumble, I may bend... even crack... but in Christ Jesus, I will live this life too the best of my ability. 

God, where you lead, I will go.


Father in Heaven, thank you for my health.  Thank you calling me your child. Lord, thank you for being my strength, my courage, my heart.  Lord, I thank you that even as I get overwhelmed, you know me better than myself and provide rest, a place and time away from the business of life to reset myself in you, in your presence, in your word.  Thank you, Lord, for cleaning my heart once again.  For your protection.  For your peace.  My hope and my life really are from you.  Without you in my life, I wouldn't be the Kristy people know right now.  So Lord, I thank you for changing me, for making me a better person as I walk after you, for healing the hurts and the pains in my life.

This freedom, Lord, only through you have I ever felt this freedom.  Even as I dedicate myself to serving you, I feel more free than when I serve myself.

Lord, thank you for blessing me to be in this world, but not of this world. Thank you, Father, that you've called me to travel through this land, but not to settle here.  You have a place for me with you later, but right now, right here, you've called me to this place and this time.  I love this life Father God. I want to live every bit of this life to the fullest!  I love the people you've brought into my life, the situations both good and bad I've had to struggle through and in, the fun, the laughter, the joy and your hope.  I can't imagine any other place, any other life.  I want this one I have.  I don't want to ever leave.  But Lord, you've called me to live this life not to settle here and be comfortable, but to live as if I only have a little time to pass through... to tell my story, to live so that you shine. 

I'm not created to live this life forever, everyone dies.  So Lord, I ask that as I live this life you've given me, that you help me make the most of it... to thrive in the face of adversity, to shine in the darkness that life can be... to bring hope, to show your power, to prove that you are real.  This life isn't mine to live.  Lord, I gave my life to serve you many years ago, I give it to you again.  Do with me as you will because I know that living as you've called will be better than anything I can imagine for myself.

I have more freedom in you, more joy in you, more love with you, more hope in you.  Lord, you are my life.  Give me the courage and strength to live this life as you've called, to not shy away from the hardships.  don't let me avoid danger just to be safe.  Give me the ability to walk forward boldly for you and with you.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen .