My Choice

Originally, I wanted to write about my time hanging out with my neighborhood kids...the fun stuff I am blessed to experience as I hang out with them... still working on what I want to write.  So, instead of a light-hearted blog entry, I'm posting this entry up in its place.  =D  Very different.

As I write this entry, memories upon memories invade my thoughts.  The bad times and how they've grown me. The good times with its crazy fun and laughter.  *wide grin*  All different parts of what I call "Kristy!"

This is how I feel and the choice I make every time I find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

When things so wrong, so very wrong

What do I do?

What do I say?

Where do I go?

I cry for help

Arms outstretched

Seeking comfort

But none can be found

Incoherent words

Wildly lashing thoughts

Flashes of memories

Time streams by or did it stop?

Desperately reaching

Blindly groping

Emptiness and confusion

How much longer will this last?

Fear

                           Anger

        Frustration

                                        Hopelessness

Pointless thoughts fill my mind

So confused

So lost

So drained

Nowhere do I go

Nowhere by my power

Nowhere by my strength

Running in circles

I fight until I’m worn out

I scream until no voice is left

I struggle until no strength is left

So empty I feel

Panting

                             Sweating

          Weak

                                            Tired

In the quiet

In the stillness

In my hopelessness

In my total weakness

I feel a soft touch

Comfort

I hear a gentle whisper

Calm

Who reaches past my self-built walls?

Who is strong enough to save me?

Where are you?

Who are you?

"Here I am" says God the Father

"I’ll save you" says Jesus the Savior

"I’ll stay with you" says the Holy Spirit

"Will you let me?"

"I am strong" says the Lord God

"I have plans for you, not to harm you but to grow you

I want to give you the best of the best

Will you let go and trust me?"

"Come, lean on me and I will be your strength

Come, listen to me and I will give you peace

Come, follow me and I will give you hope"

The choice is mine… what will I choose?

Every time I fall, God is there

Every time I hurt, God is there

Every time I cry, God is there

Every single time... God is always there

By my choice and mine alone

I choose peace

I choose hope

I choose to follow God



Take care everyone!!!  Hope not to take so long to write the next post... life is busy!  =D