Progress?

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

For a while... my body felt great!  I was feeling stronger, healthier, more mobile.  Yay hope!

Now... These last couple of days, my body is taking a couple of steps backwards.  This is depressing.  I can't control how my body reacts.  So.... Instead of dwelling on what I cannot control, I will focus on what I can control.

Shuffle step.  Shuffle step.  Standing in front of a mirror, I assess my posture. Horrible!  I tell my patients to stand straight... "No matter the pain, walk as if your body is normal like everyone else."  Now am I following that same advice?  Nope!  No matter how I command my body, I can't seem to stand straight.  Forget the aches, forget the scar pulling.... Still can't stand straight! No way am I going to walk hunched forward for the rest of my life!

Okay, time for some homework!  I'm too used to laying sideways, partially curled.  Sleeping sideways doesn't help either!  First step... Tummy time! Laying on my stomach, I slowly inch my elbow under my upper body.  Slowly, slowly... Push through my elbows and shoulders I arch my back.  Yikes, this hurts!  Come on... Keep going... Ahhhhhh, I know!  Tummy time and reading manga!  If I don't arch my upper body enough, I can't read!  Incentive!

Uhhhhhh, my shoulders are shaking!  Such weak muscles!  Ummmmmm, how can I keep stretching and still read manga?  Got it!  Throwing a pillow on my bed, I carefully roll my back onto the pillow.  Facing the ceiling, I cautiously uncurl my legs... my butt finally touches the bed.  Next, my head and shoulders.  Uncurl, relax... Carefully, I settle my shoulders back.  Well, not the most comfortable position, but stretching is stretching.

Stand up.  Head high.  Shoulders back.  Chest out.  Back straight.  Feet planted.  Cool!  After a couple days of prolonged stretching, I can finally stand upright!  Hurray!!!

Right leg step.  Firm.  Muscles controlled.  Tight.  No slouching!

Left leg step.  Firm.  Muscles controlled.  Tight.  Shoulders back!  Head high!

Purposeful movements with control and precision.  I'm looking for maximal muscle usage with minimal workout intensity.  I need to make the most of each step, every muscle, every bit of freedom I've finally regained!  Multi-purpose workout...  no impact, no stress... I want to make every move count!

Lord God, please keep giving me wisdom in how to retrain my body.  Help stabilize my body for the better!  I keep thinking... "I should be better by now..."  But, thank you, Lord, that by your provision, I'm not worse than I am now!

Father, please grow me strong again before my next chemotherapy treatment. Yesterday, I did a little research into the two chemo medicines I will receive.... as expected, the usual nausea, vomiting, fatigue and hair-loss... Then there's the scary stuff like heart problems that can appear years later! Well, Lord, you gave me this body for a reason.  Father, help me not focus on what I lack; instead, give me the strength to enjoy what I have and be at peace with what I can do.

God, in Jesus' name, help me be more than I am through your strength, your power, your promise of hope.  Amen.

Able to make it to our friends' wedding!

Outside is beautiful... getting tired, but well worth it!