Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Sun Stand Still

"Sun, stand still at Gibeon, and moon, in the Valley of Aijalon."  And the sun stood still, and the moon stopped... Joshua 10: 12-13

Ohhhhh... I'd love to see God in action like that!  What kind of prayer would it take to see the impossible happen... to see God come through?  I know God will answer as I pray in alignment with his promises so that his power and glory are demonstrated.  So... what should I pray for?  What _can_ I pray for that would bring God honor, demonstrate his power, and be in alignment with his promises?

Father God, I want that!  I want to see you in action.  I want to see my own version of the sun standing still at my work.  I want to see impossible things happen today so I can have more crazy God-stories to tell!

Thinking of what to pray for... still thinking...ah well, time to see my patient.

“Room five please.  Sorry, we’ve only got this room left.  Would you mind climbing up onto this mat today?  I know it’s a little high, but I have a little step-stool here you can use.  You okay up there?  I need to go grab some supplies so stay up there and don't fall off.”

This is ridiculous!  To ask a patient to climb up onto a chest-high mat and then ask them not to fall off?  I know that when we move into the new building, we get new equipment.  I know that nothing big is being ordered because it'll just be wasted once we move.  When we move... it was supposed to be in 2013, then summer of 2014, now early 2016?  Who knows when we'll move!  All I know is that right now, equipment isn't working and the risk of injury to staff and to patients rise as time passes.

Frustrated and annoyed, I pray:

God, this situation sucks!  Everyone’s working hard, but the lack of working treatment rooms really slows down the whole process.  We’ve got 6 treatment rooms right now, but two have mats that don’t work and one room is small so that treating the bottom of a patient’s foot is really really difficult!  To top it off, the office sink is clogged.  Grrrrrrr… God, can you just fix something?  Even one more room with a working mat would make all the difference… although, new mats would be even better!  *deep sigh*  I don’t know what to do about the sink; we’ve already asked for it to be looked at, but the process is so slow.  God, I’m fed up… can you just do something today?  Anything!

After lunch:

“Everyone, we can’t use room one for now.”

What?!?  A completely unusable room?  What in the world is going on? 

I watch a co-worker grab tape and place a sign over the office sink: “DO NOT USE.”  Well, okay, I know that this office sink is clogged.  Someone came earlier to unclog it, but that didn’t work so he was supposed to come back later.  *shrug*  Guess the sink got more clogged?  But what’s that got to do with room one?

Curious, I take a peek.  Black-colored water is steadily dripping from the sink and pooling over the trash containers, over the floor, and across the mat’s feet.  What in the world is happening?!?  One side of the room is coated in black-watery stuff!  Is that coffee grounds from the clogged sink?  Argh, I guess someone decided to wash their hands in the clogged office sink and because this treatment room’s sink shares the same pipe, the water evened itself out and poured out into our treatment room; one treatment room down... that leaves 3 working rooms and 2 rooms with broken mats.  God, what in the world are you doing?  I thought I prayed for stuff to get fixed, not more broken and messed up!

*deep sigh*

“What in the world are we going to do?”

“Why don’t we move the working mat from the flooded room one into room five where the mat doesn’t work?”

“Great idea!  Who wants to help me move the mats?”

Looking around, everyone in my dept is either super busy or injured.  Disappointed, I’m ready to give up.

“Why don’t you call some of the techs to help?

Couple phone calls later, the working mat in room one is moved into room five and room five’s broken mat is moved into room one.  YAY!!!  Praise the Lord!  That makes four completely working rooms and only two messed-up rooms.  Hurray!!!

Father God, sorry for doubting you.  Yes, you answered my prayer for an extra working treatment room, but the way in which the whole process occurred was totally unexpected!  I never dreamed that stuff would get so messed-up and crazy as the process you choose to work through in answer to my prayer.

God, thank you for all the support at work throughout the moving/fixing process… that everyone stayed calm so I stayed sane.  Thank you for the words of wisdom from co-workers, for fellow staff members not in our department willing to drop everything and come help, for the decrease in number of patients who showed up for their appointments so that the lack of rooms did not cause a stir.  Thank you for the timing of everything going wrong and even the timing of when things got fixed.  Thank you that the issue escalated so much that we potentially may get new mats to replace the two broken ones!  Thank you that the both the sink in the office and in treatment room one got completely fixed and are now even cleaner than before.  Hurray!!!

God, you listen to my silly complaints and you answer my crazy prayers… but how you go about doing so is completely unexpected.  *wide grin*  Lord, thank you for coming through for me and for my department.

In Jesus’ name, I give praise to my God, a God who cares enough to listen and to provide, amen.

What do I dare pray for next?  How will I see God answer?  =D  I'm excited!

So what did I learn?  Be careful how I pray!  Asking in the name of Jesus so that God will be glorified… God will answer, but I find he does it in his timing and in his way.  *wry smile*

Take care!  Hope you all are enjoying the increase in sunshine!
*big hugs* --Kristy



Sunday, January 11, 2015

Me: Kristy

“No, it was your fault.” 

*shock*  Did I just say that?  “Sorry, Noel.  That wasn’t true.”

“You’re tired.  Lie down.”

Obediently, I lie down, close my eyes, and review the last couple of minutes.  What happened?  First I was happily reporting the fact that I finished my taxes for my jewelry business.  During the report, I reflected on how terminology can totally affect the outcome of what numbers go where.  Next thing I realize, I’m blaming Noel for wording something a certain way so that entering numbers on our upcoming tax return would result in paying more taxes. 

Fact #1, that last statement is totally untrue.  Fact #2, Money that belongs to the government should go to the government.  Fact #3, God’s always provided enough money in all situations… so why try to be stingy now?

*deep sigh* 

My heart just isn’t in the right place.  I don’t like this part of me! 

As I look at myself, I see a lot of dirt:  rough edges, self-righteousness, pride, self-entitlement, hatred, irritation, greed, enslavement to situations or activities… so much negative stuff.  The harder I look at myself, the more filth I see.  I really hate this selfish, money-grubbing, finger-pointing part of myself.  By myself and inside myself, I’m not a “good person” at all. 

In John 15: 4-5, Jesus says:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.  I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

So… What kind of life results do I truly want? 

I want to be better than I am.  I want more than this internal filth that permeates my thoughts, my actions, my heart.  In my life, I only feel completely safe, completely clean, completely whole when I dwell in the presence of God.  I want more of the goodness, the sweetness, the joyful peace that I can only find when I “abide” in Jesus Christ.  I want Jesus as my role model, my end goal, the guide to my heart, my words, and my soul because I know he is better than anything I can attain by my own power.

As Jesus states, I can only be like him if I stick to him.  I want to walk so closely with Jesus and match my heart with his heart so that all my dirtiness washes away.  My soul is already cleansed through Jesus’ death and resurrection on the cross… but I continue to roll myself in mud and run to God once I realize that I’m dirty.  *wry grin*  I feel like a little kid who runs off to have fun, only to be grossed out by how dirty I got and so run back crying to my parent for warmth, security, soothing comfort and cleaning. 

To avoid straying onto my own path is impossible, but when I truly seek God, nothing is impossible for God… even the change of my heart and my attitude.  That’s what I want…  I want the impossible!  I want to be satisfied with what I have.  I want to focus on real issues and not get side-tracked by every little thing that pops into my head.  I want to take joy regardless of what this world throws at me.  I want to share the love that I’ve already received.  I want to be at peace even in the most stressful of situations because I know that God is in complete control. 

Lord, you’ve always provided: money, time, ways to deal with tough situations, strength… on and on and on.  What really do I have to worry about when I’ve got you by my side? 

Lord Jesus, I thank you for saving me from myself.  Thank you that you first loved me so that I can learn to love like you.  Thank you for calling me on my faults so that I can grow past them.  Thank you for never just leaving me alone to live by my own set of rights and wrongs.  Thank you for being a living example of what it means to follow God’s command.  Thank you for taking my burdens when I can’t carry any more.

Because of Jesus, I am saved, my wrongs already forgiven.  Continue to change my heart to see you, to know you, to abide in you.  I don’t like myself much when I stray from your side, so please keep me close.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.


Noel taking me home after our friend's wedding ceremony: