Called to Serve?

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I get an email asking if I want to help serve in our young adult fellowship, Transparent, as a small group leader.  My immediate internal response is "NO!"  I don't want more stuff on my plate... I'm having fun rockclimbing and socializing with friends from church, work and my neighborhood.  Really... I don't want any more responsibilities.  *tsk tsk*

As my finger twitches over the reply button, I freeze.  What's making me hesitate?  *deep sigh*  Well, I know that I want to serve God with my whole life... but I also know that I want time to myself.  I want my personal space.  I don't want to add on more responsibilities, time drains, mandatory meetings, long drives, crazy events and even more people time (I'm a total introvert, people time drains me!).  Why in the world would I ever want to step into Transparent leadership that honestly doesn't spark my interest?  But since I've been asked... I need to properly pray and ask God what he wants me to do.... where he wants me to serve.

Lord, if you want me to be small group leader in Transparent, please give me the heart for it.  I have the heart to serve you, God, but right now I don't really want to give up my time to serve in an area that will definitely wear on me.  Lord, but I know that when I follow you, impossibly great things happen. So before I go ahead and answer on my own, I want to ask you what you want for me to do.  Lord, if you want me to be a small group leader in Transparent, give me excitement for the task.  Give me a joy and a purpose in serving.  Give me direction, ideas, a goal to work towards.  Father, I've got until the end of this year to decide.  So please, before then, can you give me an answer?  I know that if you change my heart from where it is now, then you've clearly called me.  On the other hand, Lord, if I cannot find excitement and passion to become a small group leader, I will decline the honor of the position.

Thank you Lord, knowing that whatever comes in the future, it will be more than just good!

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Running towards me, an excited youth cries out "Kristy, Kristy!  I hear that Noel's going to become a youth counselor again!  Does that mean you're coming back too?"

"Sorry," I reply, "God hasn't called me to rejoin Footprints as a youth counselor."  *sad face*

I love working alongside the kids and love working besides Noel... but every time I pray about if I should rejoin the youth team, I don't hear a positive answer from God, I don't feel anything extra besides my own wants.  I can't feel a specific goal or purpose to be in Footprints with the youth.  *sad sigh* I would love to work with the youth again... every Sunday, a spark lights up when I talk, laugh and play with them... I really miss it.  But where does God want me?  Serving and creating community at work, hanging out with girls at church, mentoring young adults... these are what I'm spending most of my time on.  I'm super busy, but something's still missing.  What is it?  *puzzled look*

I know that I want to serve in the church again... but where?  How?  In what way?  My vacation time is almost over.  *wry grin*

My heart is for the youth I've grown up alongside these past 5-6 years.  I'm sad that when so many youth go off to college, they come back feeling lost, the environment changes... new people are present and others are gone.  Upon coming back to church, the new young adults are encouraged to participate in the young adult group, Transparent.  However, many never make the transition from Footprints to Transparent.  Why?  The two groups are very different in culture, attitude, people.  It's scary and uninviting to step into a new world when feeling like this should be "home."  I want to bridge that gap!

Towards the goal of bridging the youth to young adult gap, Noel and I host monthly dinner parties with games at our home to help keep the local college students plugged-in with each other.  Recently, we've also started hosting random dinner and game parties at our home when the non-local college students return home.  To spice things up, Noel and I are planning a Nerf War & Dinner Party at church on December 29th with the purpose of melding youth and returning college students and young adults into an event hosted by multiple age groups.  *excited*

For the Nerf War & Dinner Party, I want to specifically create a place where talking isn't the primary event; instead, the primary focus of the night is teamwork, community, respect and physical interaction.  I crave for this upcoming large event to break down barriers of discomfort between people of different ages who may not know each other well.  I want to provide a common topic of conversation, a place of challenge and multiply opportunities for encouragement.  Then too, there's dinner.  Dinner's purpose is teamwork.  Everyone needs to help clean-up the Nerf equipment, organize tables and chairs and then make won tons and spring rolls.  The primary reason for these specific dinner foods is so that the people present can learn and teach each other how to cook (life-skill) while allowing for laughter and flexibility in the the end product.  Furthermore, everyone needs to work together in order to have a meal to eat... the other option is to go hungry.  Am I cruel or what?  *smirk*

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Last night: successful completion of the Nerf War & Dinner Party!

I "encouraged" everyone to help clean-up, even those who don't regularly come to our church and are invited as friends.  *wide grin*  I called people by name and pulled on sleeve after sleeve issuing specific tasks:  return all the tables and chairs to their original location, hunt down every Nerf ammo including checking closets and underneath furniture in a specific area, wiping dirty tables, washing dishes and wiping floors.  *evil grin*  After a very major and thorough clean-up, I hope everyone who participated in last night's activities will leave with a sense of accomplishment, fulfilled purpose, teamwork, laughter and new memories to share.  Hopefully in church today, people who just returned from distant colleges and participated in last night's event will have Nerf war stories to tell, excitement in meeting teammates and opponents, and most of all... everyone who took part in last night's activities will feel a diminished sense of discomfort in coming back to a place that is "supposed to be home" and yet...  has changed.

Ummmmm... the youth who graduate from high school also graduate from Footprints.  These future new young adults are offered the chance to join with the young adult group in Transparent; however, the gap in culture is too wide from one group to the next... very few make the transition and may eventually feel unwanted or lost.  I don't want that to happen!  This gap is where I am most passionate about bridging. 

So where can I go and what can I do? 

With Noel going to Footprints as a youth counselor, he will be the link into Footprints.  Where is the link into Transparent?  The only person I can think of to fill that roll is... maybe me?  If I participate in Transparent... I can change and prep the culture of the young adults in Transparent and the youth I currently interact with to meld the two groups together.  I want to make the transition from Footprints to Transparent more welcoming, less shocking... to create events with the intention of bridging two very different groups in a safe-feeling, natural format.  Will just being a small group leader do?  Will I eventually need to step into an even higher level of leadership?  *deep sigh* What am I getting myself into?  Where is God leading me this time?

Father God, I want to serve you... I want to grow the youth you've placed into my life (even ones who are now adults).  I want to create a place of belonging... a place of safety each one can return to to find peace, community, friendship, advice, laughter, support and hope.  Lord, wherever you call, I will follow.  Whatever it takes... my time, my life... I will go.  Lord, as you call... give me the wisdom, courage, energy, passion... everything I need and more... to follow you.  I will not do this on my own... may my choices and my passion follow your lead.  When the time and place is right, may you open doors, prepare the path and open my heart to accept it.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Annoying Allergy

Day 1: December 13, 2012

Rolling over, I blindly grab for my phone.  Turning off the annoying alarm, I start to wake up for work.... or at least I feel like I'm awake.  My eyes are open right?  Uhhhh... my throat is on fire.  Attempting to groan, my voice croaks out unintelligible sounds.  Is this a cold?  *puzzled*  My cold's usually start with a stuffy and/or runny nose.  What's going on?  Every breath feels like fire.   

Settling back in bed, I review my last couple of days:  

On Monday (or was it Tuesday?), one of my co-workers joked about my prior year's allergic reaction to alcohol, laughing about how bad my reaction was to the amount of alcohol in half a bite of candy.  I remember laughingly saying that if I ever wanted to take off work, I'd just sip a bit of alcohol or go steal someone's alcohol-filled cholocate.  

Yesterday (Wednesday).... nothing out of the ordinary happened.  *shrug*  The meals I ate for breakfast and lunch were homemade.  The snacks at work were See's Candy (I've never had any problems eating See's Candy).  I even take the time to check online.  Nope, no alcohol content in See's Candy!  For me, vanilla and almond extracts don't appear to cause any side effects.

Ummmm... After work, I did a little rockclimbing.  No problem there!  

For dinner, I met a friend and we ate at a Japanese restaurant.  The only foods we ate were udon soup and agedashi tofu.  I've had both these dishes before, just not at this restaurant.  Just in case, I hunt online for the ingredients.  Udon... No problem... This dish is just thick noodles in a yummy broth.  Kinda salty.  The tofu?  Fried and partially soaked in a light broth.  Let's see... Ingredients: water, seaweed, bonito flakes, soy sauce, Mirin.  Ohhhhh, what's Mirin?  Let's see... Mirin.... Ahhhh, it's a type of Japanese sweet rice wine.  Bingo... Close to half the sauce was made of Mirin... A light alcohol... But still alcohol.  *deep sigh*  Doesn't matter if the broth has been boiled, I still get sick.  Only alcohol that's been deep fried doesn't seem to cause any physical reactions.  So sad....

I look forward to the next couple of days of pure misery.  How many days?  I can't remember... 3 days... 4 days?  *shrug*  It's been a while since I last consumed anything with alcohol in it.

Day 2: December 14, 2012

In addition to all the first day's list of annoyances, today, I add to my list of misery: all joints ache.  As if that wasn't bad enough, my whole body hurts when I attempt to move... then starts the huffing and puffing as I get short of breath climbing 14 steps... then dizziness... *eyes swirling*

Gargling with salt water... I tiredly remind myself how critical today is.  If I'm not careful, this alcohol allergy will turn into a cold where my snot turns green instead of a thick clear-white color.  *shudder*  If I get a cold now, then this whole painful process will last even longer.  Nooooooooooo! I can't let that happen!  I wanna go rockclimbing, not bundled up weak in bed!  *sniffle*

Day 3: December 15, 2012

No more sore throat... Yay!!!  

Instead, my nose plugs up!  Struggling to breath through my mouth, I fight my lingering weakness, headache, and whole body soreness.  Panting... I can't breathe!  No matter how many times I blow my nose, air doesn't pass through!  Shallow breathes in and out through my mouth.  *bottled frustration*

Focus... Deep breaths... Minimize the cracking lips... Don't lick. Without energy, I stumble my way to the restroom for lip moisturizer.  Through trial and error these last few days... I've realized even with the use of lip balm, my lips dry and crack within 30 minutes.  With the use of petroleum jelly, same issue.  I pull out a tube of 100% lanolin and apply the thick unforgiving material to my lips.  Slowly, the warmth of my lips melt the lanolin. *relief*  Thickly coating the cracks and peeling skin on my lips, the pain temporarily fades away.  At most, this relief will last an hour until the battle starts again: do I move or do I continue to huddle in bed, minimizing the aches to my body, but multiplying the damage when my lips crack?

 

Determination.... More oxygen, deep breaths... Stretch out my lungs.  Why does breathing take so much effort?  Miserable, I curl up deeper under heavy blankets.

Day 4: December 16, 2012

Coughing, sneezing, fatigue.  Some of the ache fades away... But where is my strength? Grrrrrrrr....

Noel's not home right now.  Hungry, I go downstairs to microwave some leftovers and get myself something to drink.  So far, I've only gone downstairs twice: yesterday and today.  Scarfing food down (at least my throat doesn't hurt anymore), I heat up a hot pack to carry back upstairs. Crawling into bed, I fix the tousled sheets. Panting for air, I flop backwards.  Control. Deep breath in.  Now, slow breath out.  Repeat. Deep breath in, slow breath out. Don't struggle... I've gotta relax.  As is, today is already waayyyyyy better than yesterday!  Hurray!!!!

Day 6: December 18, 2012

Sooooo much better today!  I completed a full day's worth of work and didn't even need a nap when I got home!  My throat's a little dry and my nose is still a little stuffy... But overall, I'm so very happy to feel better.  No problems at work,  plenty of energy to cook and even sew tonight. Yay!!!!  Thank you Lord Jesus for my overall health. I can't wait to go rockclimbing tomorrow!  *Smirk* I don't stay down for long... Too boring!  *Wide grin*

Day 15: December 27, 2012

Lord Father God, thank you that this struggle with my alcohol allergy is completely over!  Well, actually, thank you that since Christmas Eve, no major issues!  I'm so happy to spend time with family and friends for Christmas these last couple of days with a fully functioning body!  Hurray!  Already, the memory of my struggles: the pain, the fatigue, the trouble breathing... almost gone!  *wide grin*  Good thing that I have a brain that doesn't dwell on the difficulties, but focuses on the blessings of my life.  Thank you, Father God, for uniquely creating me and helping me through various struggles... be it dealing with my body or my attitude or tough situations... to know that you, Lord, are always there for me... I need never fight in desperation alone.

Lord, thank you for sending your only son, Jesus Christ, born as fully man and fully God, celebrated each Christmas season, to die on the cross so that we can walk by your side.  Thank you, Father God, that the sacrifice of blood you require as payment for our separation from you (sin) is already paid through Christ's death and resurrection.  Thank you for the Holy Spirit, to guide me, teach me, correct me as I stumble blindly through my chaotic life.  Thank you, God, that you, three in one (Trinity) are one God, of one mind... that there is no difficulty knowing where I stand when I seek you.  Thank you for your promise of helping me overcoming impossible-seeming hurdles.  Thank you for the peace I find in you even in the worse of times.  Thank you for a life filled with harsh difficulties and the ability to march forward with my head held high.  Thank you for both the bad and all the good in my life as I am able to joyfully walk with you by my side.... a life filled with purpose, a life filled with meaning... never truly lost... never alone... a life filled with hope.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

May the Lord of all creation bless you and your family with peace and joy and hope even in the most difficult of situations... that your eyes will be open to the wonders of this world and the many many God-given blessings in your life.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Dec 26: Crazy dinner party of 12 people all cooking together at once!  Soooo FUN!!!  *drool*  Food's great too!   =D

Caught a Cold

Friday, November 14, 2012

Throat on fire, limbs weak, joints ache... Is this what it means to be sick?  Grrrrrrrrrrr...  I don't feel like doing anything today except be absolutely LAZY!  *Smirk* A thousand things I should or could do flitter through my head. Next comes the excuses: It's cold, I'm tired, my head aches and my mouth feels dry. *Wide grin* If only being sick felt good, I could be enjoying this time like a mini vacation!

Father God, thank you for this break... It sucks to feel weak and achy and irritable, but I also thank you for this break I have from my daily routine.  Now... Help me get better quick please!

In Jesus' name, amen.

New Challenge, Old Struggle

 What is an addiction?  Dependency?  Craving?  Need?  Obsession?  Habit?
 What do I have when it comes to reading?


Thursday, November, 29, 2012

Location: Transparent (young adult) girls' group

Around and around the spindle goes... Where will it land?  Slowing to a stop, everyone leans in to read this week's challenge: "fasting and prayer."

*grimace*  Prayer's okay... That's talking to God and I tend to do that a lot anyways.  So what's the problem?  Well, I _hate_ fasting!  I'm no good at it!  This week's challenge is totally my weak point!  *deep sigh*

The purpose of fasting is to set aside something (usually not something easy to do) and use that time, or craving, as a cue to pray.  So what can I give up for this week?  Not eating... Well, I _love_ eating, but that's not my most difficult thing to give up.  So what do I do most during my free time?  I read manga or books.  Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!  I don't wanna give up reading!  However, to honor God, I feel that I need to forgo something I truly treasure.  The time that I gain, the cravings that I will confront, this time of internal strife will be my cue to pray, my time to refocus on spending time with God.

Inside, I feel that if I really REALLY want to honor God with a truly appropriate fast, I need to give my treasure... my best.

Lord, I've tried to think what else I can fast with... Food, how I do my work, time I spend on various things... But no matter what options I come up with, I keep feeling that to give up reading manga AND reading novels is what I cling most to, the thing I'm most unwilling to let go; and therefore, the most important option to choose for my week-long fast.

Help me!  Lord God, you know how deep-rooted my fixation to reading is... This crazy driving obsession to read every spare moment I have.  Lord, you've helped me manage most of my cravings in regards to reading.  I notice my struggle most when I'm at home, in the quiet, during my free time.  Do I do chores or read?  Do I spend time with Noel or read?  Do I take care of the cats or read?  Do I sleep or read?  In all of my daily choices, the chance to read even a page or two, takes on a very high priority.

Father, every spare moment of my time and my thoughts falls into a fantasy land of another person's creative imagination.  So often, I feel that I'm fighting an uphill battle and loosing every single step of the way.  I don't find fulfillment nor peace in reading... It doesn't fill this black hole inside of me, a raving pit of insanity, uncontrollable frustration... But Lord, I've experienced peace, joy, fulfillment, calm and freedom when I sink deeply into your presence... So knowing all this, help me, Lord God, Father of Jesus, to seek you first over my twisted dependency on living in a dream world of another's creation.  I'm stuck... incapable of freeing myself.  Lord, I need you here with me!  Be my strength.  Be my reasoning as I swim through periods of insanity, clawing cravings, and treacherous attempts at self-justification!  Father, I call you "Lord," may you be the true living Lord of my life.

God, I know that any sacrifice you call for me to take up... that it isn't for my loss, but instead to gain more of you, to be set apart so I can know you more, to attain your best for me when I can't even grasp and control my own life.  I don't know why something so innocuous as reading is my addiction, my bondage, my chain... But it is.  Lord, you've freed me before, please free me once again!

In the name of Jesus, as both God and Son, I pray, amen.


Friday, November 30, 2012

Failure.

I keep myself occupied by rockclimbing after work, getting home after Noel is home, watching anime with my husband, but there's always spare time.  A little unoccupied free time before going to bed. Read manga?  I can't!  My fingers are itching to read manga on my iPad!  Telling myself I won't read, I open my iPad... Then somehow, I'm in iBooks checking out a newly downloaded novel.  One justification after another... In the blink of an eye, I realize I read 8 chapters!

Guilt.  Anger.  Frustration.  Disappointment.  Shame.

Shouldn't it be easy not to read?  What happened to keeping my word or even wanting to honor God? I feel pitiful.  The craving, the pull is so strong... Funny right?  Addiction to reading.  *sarcasm*  I feel stupid.


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The iPad lays quietly by my bedside.  Without a second thought, I flip open my iPad's protective cover.  So easy!  Oh hey... There's a new manga!  The update symbol is present.  I wonder what manga is new?  How about I check which manga it is?  Noooooo!  I CANNOT keep slipping!  I feel miserable enough in my struggles and in my failures.  Each time I turn away from reading is a victory... Each failure feels like a landslide.  Pain.  Anger.  Frustration.  Self-hatred.  Guilt.

Even as I type this blog, part of me is itching to slide my fingers or push a button to check the novels I have stored in iBooks or peek at the newly updated manga... Just a peek!  No!  Keep typing, keep struggling, keep fighting!

Lord God, you are the only one worth this fight, this internal struggle... Lord, only for you and through you do I even have this strength, this purpose, this determination to be more than I am.  Only for you, Jesus, for the ability to walk besides you, for the chance to know more of you do I even bother to confront this super-difficult personal challenge for the freedom you so freely offer.  Only for my Lord who is worthy, the creator of all.  Only for you, God, will I let go of my treasures... knowing that to die to myself, my wants, my cravings, my obsessions is to gain more, not just in heaven, but that with this fast, I am being blessed here and now.  So Lord, I praise your name and ask that in this battle of my heart, my time, my mind... that you open my eyes to see your blessings and that those blessings will enable me to face myself with peace.  To once again gain freedom from the chains of my obsession with reading.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Shower Door Complete!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Hurray!!!  The shower door is back in place, sliding smoothly in it's tracks!  *clap clap*  We're done!  Everything's sealed in caulk... complete!  Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement!  =D

Lord God, I know it seems kind of silly, but thank you for helping us complete this shower door and tub cleaning project!  Everything's back in place.  And even though the bathroom looks smaller, it's great to shower in a larger tub area.  *wide grin*  I feel so spoiled, but so happy that everything's clean too!

Thank you, Father God, for a warm and sunny day!

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Just the Right Cake

November 20, 2012

A month ago: 

Yikes!  I've got a Groupon deal for a cake from some fancy, award-winning bakery.  *drool*  The expiration date is just after Noel's birthday.  A little too close!

*dailing the bakery*  

Me:  Hello, my name is Kristy.  I want to order a cake for my husband.  I've got a Groupon that will expire soon.

Owner:  Sorry, there's no Groupon I know of for a cake... only cupcakes.

Me:  What?!?  The cupcake option sold out so I bought the cake option.

Owner:  Sorry, I don't know of any Groupons for cakes.

Me:  Ummmm...  I have the Groupon right in front of me!  It gives me your address, expires November 28, it's for a 9 inch cake.

Owner:  Okay, I still don't remember issuing any discounts for cakes, but I'll take your order and show me the voucher when you get here.

Me:  Sure... let's see... what do you have?

Option after option.... *dizzy*  I've never even _heard_ of some of these types of cakes.  Yikes!  After going in circles, I ask for a yummy, unique, fruit cake with no alcohol (since I'm allergic to something in alcohol and want to eat some cake too!).

Father God... I can't even _remember_ what type of cake I ordered!  It's something unique and different all right... better be worth the fancy retail cost (even though I didn't have to pay that much).  Father, I don't know if Noel will even _like_ the cake... so I ask, Father, that whatever cake he gets for his birthday, he'll really really enjoy!

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Today:

I arrive right at the stated time: 4:30pm.  Is this even a bakery?  All I see is a storefront with dusty wedding cakes, articles and awards stating how great this place is... and a little sign that says "by appointment only."  But where's the kitchen?

I see a lady wearing light pink.  "Hi, my name is Kristy.  I've come to pick up the cake I ordered through Groupon."  The lady smiles politely, then opens this nondescript door to find my cake.  Oh wow!  That's a very clean and fancy baking area in the back with multiple people busy hard at work and a wall filled with super large freezers.  Soon, the sweet scents of sugar and yumminess float in the air towards me.  *drool* 

I wait a minute, two, three, five... I hear someone yelling:"I can't find the cake!"  Ummmmm, what?  The first lady in pink pulls out my order slip, turns out I ordered a blackberry and lemon cake.  Why in the world would I ever order that kind of cake for Noel?  I really must not have been thinking!  Noel loves strawberries! *sigh*  Well, if they can't find the cake, I really don't want to make another trip.

Another lady wearing white steps out through the door with sweet scents carrying a white cake.  That doesn't look anything like a blackberry lemon cake, but what do I know about cakes?  Holding the cake out towards me, she says, "I can't find your cake, but here's another one we can offer you.  It's strawberry shortcake."

Oh Thank you, Father God, for redeeming my mistake in ordering a cake I doubt Noel will like and replacing it with a cake I know he will love! 

Lord, as soon as Noel stepped into the house, he asked me what kind of cake I got him... "strawberry shortcake?"  This was his first thought.  In all honestly, I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Nope, I didn't order strawberry shortcake."  *smirk*  Thank you, Lord, that Noel, who is so very good at guessing surprises...  and I... who suck at diverting his attention while not lying, was able to keep this one gift a secret surprise.

Thank you, Lord God, for rectifying my mistake and maintain the surprise for my husband tomorrow.  Lord, I ask that you bless Noel with many new memories as we fill the next couple days with family, friends, a movie outting, sushi, go-karting, and more.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen!

Blog post to come...

November 20, 2012

I want to post the blog I've written, but then Noel will know what cake he has for his birthday... hard enough for any kind of surprise... so I'm not posting the blog about his cake until Thursday or Friday.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!  There's a ton of things to be thankful for... I'm soooooo happy!  =D

Love,
Kristy

Dirty Work

Monday, November 12, 2012

A couple days ago, I got this bright idea to clean and re-seal the main bathtub's shower doors.  Well, our home is over 25 years old and the sealant in the tub has probably never been replaced.  Edged in black mold, two areas under the shower door appear to leak rust-colored water after showers. *shudder*  Not clean!!!

Knowing myself, I'm way too lazy to undertake a project by myself.  Currently, the weather is cold and the sky is overcast, my tendency is to hibernate. *Sheepish grin*   To encourage myself (and to make sure I don't back out on this shower door project), I ask my friend, Annie, for help.  She so nicely agrees to spend Veteran's Day (Monday, November 12) doing a very.... Ummmmmmmm...... inglorious project. Does she know what she's getting herself into?  Do I know what I'm getting myself into?

Come Monday afternoon... It's COLD!  Heheheeeeee.... I know's it's afternoon already, but the air feels crisp with a bright cold snap.  The sun shines bright, so I crawl into a small patch of sunlight; unfortunately, the sun is not enough to warm my skin.  Brrrrrrrr.... So cold!  Annie's coming soon.  It is so NOT fair if she has to get out of bed, drive over to my home to help only to find me huddled in bed.  No good!  Okay, Kristy, out of bed and get ready to face the day.  *sigh*

After a warm lunch, Annie and I prepare to start. Screwdrivers, two, check.  Razorblades, check.  Caulk, check.  Metal pokey thing for fine-point scraping, check.  Gloves, check.  Mask, check.  Ready?  Maybe and maybe not.  *shrug*  I'll never know until I start.... and then, it's too late.  *grimace*

Taking the shower doors off required lifting the whole top frame assembly with the doors hanging on it... then sliding the door sideways out of the frame.  Bottom of the doors are black and slimy from unmentionable gunk mixed with mold.  Unscrewing the side frames and bottom bracket... easy.  It's the next part I shudder to think too much about.  Hidden behind the gold-colored metal is white caulk edged in black mold.  Ewwwww!

Annie and I drag the shower door pieces outside.  Sitting in the cold sun, scrubbing and chiseling at mold coated rubber, spraying chill water, Annie and I work diligently to finish, clean and dry each piece of the shower door.  Leaving the separate components outside to completely air dry, we trudge back inside.  Heads bending low, we use flat-head screwdrivers and razors to scrape away the old sealant.  Ick... more gunk.

About 5 hours from start to almost-finish... we have sealed the bathtub edge, placed the shower door frame back in place and resealed everything in sight!

Lord Father in heaven, thank you for such a great friend... one who tirelessly worked beside me and encouraged me to properly complete this project.  Thank you, Father, for just enough caulk to reseal everything!  Lord, the shower door's still sitting on the side because we hit a glitch.  The bottom frame of the shower door doesn't quite touch the tub's edge so I squeezed more caulk there.  Now, it's Wednesday, the abnormally thick layer of caulk isn't curing well in this cold weather.  Thank you, Lord God, that we have another shower in this household to use.  *wide grin*

Lord, can you please seal the bathtub and door with it's frame properly for me?  I jump into these projects knowing the theory behind what to do, but rarely do things go perfectly smoothly... so Lord, I ask that you minimize my mistakes and give me wisdom in what to do.  Should I scrape out the thick sealant, add a rubber filler and then reseal?  Or should I just wait a couple more days in hopes that the caulk will be able to seal itself?  *deep sigh*  Lord, I ask for your wisdom and your blessings on this "simple" shower door project.  I place my worries and my cares into your capable hands... and I NEVER want to have to redo this bathtub again in the next 10 years!  Please?  =O

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Pumpkin Carving

Sunday, Oct 28, 2012

Today is the big day! 

Noel, Melissa and I have been constantly praying for God to bless this pumpkin carving event: weather, location, people coming, our attitudes, enough food and drinks... that everyone who comes will have fun, meet new people, expand our neighborhood community... and my personal worry, that God will provide enough pumpkins!

Lord Father, my head's a jumbled mess.  I'm super excited today... for what you will do, who you will bring, the people I will get to meet or even just the opportunity to deepen friendships!  Part of me is worried about how many pumpkins we have.  Other parts of me are concerned about having the right set-up, enough tables and chairs so that everyone coming can feel comfortable, welcome, and relax.  Lord God, I have no idea how this whirlwind event will turn out, but you definitely made this day possible!  The sun's out, the air is warm, a cool breeze floats through the trees.  Outside, quiet and peace prevail.  In my nervousness, my thoughts are jumping around... Do I have enough utensils?  How about food?  Drinks?  Ahhhhh... part of me knows everything will turn out great!  But another part of me worries that I'm missing something.  I dread the start of the event, but I'm also sooooo looking forward to the fun!  Basically, I feel that I'm pulled in two directions, one knowing that you, Lord Father, will provide... and another part worrying about if I've fully prepared my part.

So Lord, I ask that you give me peace, joy, a fun-loving attitude, a heart to serve, wisdom to take care of whatever unplanned circumstances happen... Lord, I give this day and this event into your hands.  My initial intention is always to serve you first... and I know that when I serve you, Father, you provide and guide everything else... so Lord, help me to let go and be who you've called me to be today... to be who you've made me to be as I serve you and not myself.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.



Set-up... a little rough.  I should've planned the even layout.
Food, drinks, utensils, tables and chairs... no problems!  God provided everything we needed and more!
Pumpkins... totally had extra left... so much that I returned a bunch.

Weather... beautiful sunlight, breeze, cool shade.
People... got to know my friends and neighbors better... super fun time hanging out.  I especially loved dunking my arms up to the elbow in soapy water to create bubbles!


Lord Father, looking back... all my worries and fear... useless!  I feel so silly wondering about the logistics of the event, how the event will play out, wondering who will come.  The heavy weight of my fears now feel insignificant as you have taken care of all potential issues.  Father God, thank you for the blessings of a super fun day, a time to serve and be served by others, a day to share in laughter and memories, and even new friends who stayed a LONG time to help clean-up.

In Jesus' name a thank you, God, amen.

Doctor Appointment

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Father God, I'm going to see my oncologist today.  I know that the usual timeline for check-ups is every 3 months for the first year and then every 6 months for the next couple of years.  These follow ups always include tests... for me, more CT scans with contrast and blood draws.  *deep sigh*  However, Lord, I really don't want doctor appointments that often.  Can I get like a check-up every 6-8 months?  I feel lots better now and really... it feels like a waste of time to see a doctor when I'm not on any medicines, have no new problems that would require medical attention, and if my test results are all normal/clear... there's really nothing that needs to be done right? 

Please???

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

I know I've prayed many times that God will lead my doctors and guide them in the decisions that are made.  This means that I will do my best NOT to argue my personal wants and preference. Well... at least going in to my oncology appointment, I try to remind myself not to argue.  *sheepish grin*  Who knows?  Once I'm in the room with my doctor... *shrug*  God... you know me best, so I'll give this appointment into your hands.

In the room, I nervously shift in my seat and slide my feet around under the chair... waiting.  First, a nurse practitioner introduces herself, asks me a TON of questions, collects my printed test results and completes a very thorough physical exam of my nervous system (probably since I mentioned my continued neuropathy in my fingers and toes). 

Afterwards... in comes my oncologist.  At first, she lists off a bunch more tests she wants done, then states that she wants me to get my normal round of test every 3 months until I hit a year mark post-chem. 

"Do I have to???"  I plead a little bit before remembering that I'd leave the final decision up to my doctor.  *grimace* Tossing up a quick prayer for God to guide this appointment, I shut my mouth and listen to the doctor's concerns. 

"Okay, I'll make a deal with you" she says.  "Get these tests done, and if they're clear, then you can get the CT scan with contrast for your abdomen and chest done with the blood tests in 6 months.  If those tests are also clear at that point in time, I'll see you in a year."

*blink blink*  Did I hear that right?  I get a potential whole YEAR away from the doctor's office and minimized testing.  *drool*  Hurray God!!!  I still don't know what happened!  One second the doctor is adamantly insisting on having my body checked up every 3 months... then total switch around!  Praise God.  YAY!!!  I year away from the doctor's office is even better than I ever could have hoped!  *so excited*

Father in heaven, thank you so very very much for the extended periods away from tests and doctor offices.  *wide grin*  I can't wait!  Thank you for answering my prayers and closing my mouth when I wanted to argue.  *happy*  Thank you Father God for making clear that the impossible is totally possible!

In Jesus' name I praise my Father God, amen.

Here's what we bought today for this Sunday's pumpkin carving event... 34 PUMPKINS!!!

6-Month Challenge

Thursday, October 18, 2012

"I'm ready to take the challenge."

What?  Huh?

"Remember when you talked about the challenges you took to not buy clothes for a year.   And that other time when you donated clothes?  Well, ever since our conversation, I feel that God wants me to have faith in him.  A year's a really long time... but I'm willing to depend on God and not buy clothing for myself for 6 months."

Ahhhhh... yup!  When we were hanging out, I remember saying that if my friend was willing to take the step and trust God to provide clothing... that I'd take the challenge with her... whatever she felt God calling her towards.  *wide grin*

Part of me is like... okay, this is easy!  I've done this before where I didn't buy any clothing, accessories and shoes for 12 months.  Back then, I trusted in God to keep my clothes from tearing, provide me with the types of clothes I'd need in different situations and weather... as well as if I really needed anything, God would provide the item without me buying it for myself.  That last time, I found so much freedom and a significant decrease in stress in not having to provide for myself... it was amazing!  (Also saved a ton of money too!)  =D

This time... not so easy.  *sheepish grin*  I told Noel that I wouldn't ride on the back of his motorcycle unless I have an armored jacket to protect me.  I already bought a helmet and wanted to honor Noel's sense of safety by buying a jacket... just in case.  However, I didn't buy the jacket yet!  *eyes wide open*  Noooooooooooo!!!  This means that I can't ride on Noel's motorcycle for 6 months?!?!!?!!!  *deep sigh*  I really really _want_ to ride on Noel's motorcycle... in fact, the more I think about it, the more I want my own.  *smirk*

In an attempt to get around this 6 month no shopping challenge, I told my friend that we'll start the next day and I'll spend today (Sunday, October 14) to buy the motorcycle jacket.  Thinking I'm so smart... I tell God, "Father, if it's your will for me to get a jacket now, please provide one with all the requirements I like for under $100."

I search and search until midnight... no jacket that fits my prayer request.  *sniffle*  Does that mean I can't ride on Noel's motorcycle until April 16, 2013 when I can next buy a jacket?!?!?!!!  Dang... but that's a LONG time.  *smirk*  Sometimes, I think something is easy just because I've done it before... Nope, second time around is just as difficult!  Having to trust in God to know best and keep my promise is HARD when I really really WANT something NOW!  *tsk tsk*

Father God, I give you my pride, my impatience, my stubbornness!  Please give me the patience to wait on your timing and your provision for the motorcycle jacket...one that fits my shape well.  Lord, please provide a jacket that I can feel comfortable wearing and moving in, a jacket that is leather to protect me from a bad fall (if it happens), a jacket I can wear if I ever get my own motorcycle, and lastly... one that Noel approves of as "safe." 

Lord Father, I believe that when the time is right, you will provide me the perfect motorcycle jacket.  All the jackets that fit my parameters are expensive!... So Father God, I'll trust that in time, I'll be able to ride on the back of Noel's bike.  *wide grin*  But until then, Lord, I give you the stewardship of my money, my time, my clothes, my life.  It's easy to "give up" stuff that I don't want or care about... but when I really want something, it's hard to let go... so Father, I ask that you continue to speak to me your truth, your love, your faithfulness.  Father of all creation, may this challenge bring you glory and honor as my friend and I learn to be better stewards of what you've given us.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

A Day on the Water

Monday, October 8, 2012... the night before:

I want tomorrow to be perfect!  Karen and I planned our first one-on-one hangout together... *so excited*  We're going to go kayaking, sit our butts in an inch or two of sea water and stare at sea mammals.  *drool*  I so can't wait!

Worried, I checked the weather report for Monterey, California.  Low of 50 degrees F and high of 65 degrees at 1pm.  *shiver*  That sounds _cold_ for going on the water!

Lord God... I'm not quite sure what to ask for except that you bless my time together with Karen!  I want us both to have fun, see things we've never seen before, experience stuff for the first time, enjoy the weather... Lord, especially the weather!  These sea kayaks always soak my butt and water drips into my lap... Father, I really wanna have fun with Karen, but after just getting back from Hawaii... it's COLD here!  A wet butt, exposed feet, brisk breeze and overcast weather are gonna make me (and Karen) miserable... God HELP!!!  I wanna have a day of fun, not misery... please???

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012... Today:

Rolling over, I smack my phone alarm.  Silence... *sigh*  I so don't wanna wake up.  Spent last night reading a new book until 4:30am.  *sheepish grin*  NOT a good idea... especially since today's my day with Karen and I've gotta wake UP.

Slumping forward, I rub my eyes and stare outside... is that the sun?  Quickly, I grab my phone to check the weather forecast for Monterey.  I know the weather's supposed to get colder and colder with more clouds... maybe even rain.  *grimace*  Flipping through my phone to the Monterey weather... high temperature of 68 degrees.  Better, but still so cold!

Driving into Monterey, I stare in wonder.... the sun's out!  Usually, the sun's NEVER out in the morning!  God even provided a free 2 hour parking spot!  Stepping out of my car, I'm in total shock.  Is this really Monterey?  The sun's out, no dense fog cover, my legs in shorts aren't even cold... in fact, I take one of my extra long-sleeved shirts off... too warm. 

In shock, we rent two kayaks.  Even pushing out onto the sea... there were like no waves!  The water surface is glassy smooth.  The ocean barely even laps onto the sand at the beach.  The breeze isn't even enough to stir my hair!  Is this a dream?  Karen and I paddle through some kelp and immediately see sea otters... eating, grooming, sleeping.  *wide grin*  This is awesome!  Throughout that morning, we watch sea lions (or seals... not sure which) leap out of the the water eating fish, birds rushing in to feast on the left-overs, churning waters.  Further on, we see a mother otter groom her baby otter and wrap him in kelp.  A seal (?) chases my kayak only about 2 inches away!  Another seal or sea lion swims up and down near Karen's kayak.  Under us, the water continues to reflect the sky... other places, so clear I can see the ocean floor!

Oh Father in heaven... you are truly holy, awesome, mighty... wonderful beyond belief!  Today was so warm, so perfect!  Not once did I shiver with cold.  Not once did I have a difficult time finding free parking and moving my car before the two hour time limit was up.  You provided Karen and I a wonderful lunch by the ocean, a beautiful view into impossibly clear still waters, the time to share stories of your works in our life... peace, quiet beauty, heaven on earth.

Thank you, Lord God for again providing even better and more than I can ever think to ask.  Thank you for providing the biggest to the littlest things so that Karen and I could fully enjoy our time together.  Thank you, Lord, for this impossibly magical day!

Lord, may your very name continue to be praised!  In Jesus' name I praise my Father God, amen.

Preparing to go kayaking.

Out on the water!

See how calm the water was?  Told ya!

Mother otter and baby otter on the right.

seal or sea lion?

Lunch with a beautiful friend and impossibly clear water.

Our last run.  =D

Kauai

Saturday, September 30, 2012  (sorry folks... typed this and forgot to post it!)

Standing outside, I stare in wonder at a full moon.  Funny, I see a full moon every month, but how often do I really look around me?  In awe, I stand outside on the lanai (outdoor balcony), gazing in wonder at a world blanketed in soft silver.  To my right, waves crash over and over and over.  White foam sprays and dark waters gleam.  Below me, the earth is dark, moist with rain.  Above me, soft clouds drift by, obscuring stars.  Gently, the sea breeze flows by, pushing leaves to flutter past.  Soon, holes open in the dense cloud layer allowing stars to shine through as bright pinpoints of light.

Sudden shower, waters pour.  

Playful wind with dancing leaves. 

Peace

Calm

Quiet.  

In the short time I stand to stare at the alien world around me, the sky lightens.  Soon, the silver clouds glow pink with edges of vibrant orange.  A wave of warmth spills over me as the rising sun climbs through the cloudy sky.  Brighter and brighter shines the sun, new light and shadows surround me.  A rooster crows once then twice.  Birds start chirping little calls, then louder and louder more sounds gather.  From my right, a cool sea breeze stirs the humid air.  I watch crashing waves churn and foam, turn from silver gray to a crystal green-blue tipped in white.  More and more birds raucously appear with fluttering of wings to now swaying branches… stretching, preening and feeding.  Startled, I look down, no longer is the earth a monochrome dark, but now filled with rich reds and varied greens.

Thank you, Father God, for giving me eyes to see, skin to feel, and ears to hear.  As I watch the crashing waves, rolling clouds, swaying trees and soaring birds… no two moments are ever the same.  Thank you, Lord, for the wonders of this earth.  Thank you, Lord, for the beauty and intricate details of your creation.  Thank you, Lord, that I am given this opportunity to experience this constantly evolving world at this very time, in this very place.  Thank you for renewing my spirit in your presence.  Thank you for giving me peace as I spend this time and this day with you.

Lord God, I ask that today, tomorrow, for the duration of my life… open my eyes to see you, teach me to glorify you.  Father, creator of heaven and earth, I want more of you in my life.  I want to walk where you lead, I want to serve as you call, I want to live this life pleasing you more than myself.  Lord, take my selfishness, my pride, my stubbornness and redeem my faults for your glory.  Give me your joy, your peace, your love… one different from any I can grasp in my own hands so that this world may know that you alone are God.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

I'm back... not!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Hello everyone... I'm back!!!  Hurray!!!

Or rather, I'm back from being really busy and now have time to blog.  *wide grin*  God's done so many awesome things since I last blogged, I don't even know where to start.

Currently, I'm in Hawaii for my 7th anniversary celebration.  First time on Kauai.  Yes!

For this past month, I ran around feeling... not quite "busy" (because I really enjoyed spending time with family and friends and doing stuff) and the pacing from one event to another flowed and fit perfectly... more like... I had a really really packed schedule?  Guess what I've really missed is my personal time to myself and my time alone with Noel.

Since I last blogged... I've participate in my sister's wedding (congrats Jessica and Alex!!!), fullfilled my crazy list of daily chores, met up with a small portion of friends, went paintballing with my whole team, rockclimbed twice, completed multiple sewing projects... and prayer walked with Noel through his process in buying a motorcycle.  *wide grin*  More stories and answered prayer requests there!

Now... I'm looking forward to exploring Kauai, hanging out with my husband, and hopefully make a little time to rest and blog.  *smile*

Lord Father in heaven, thank you so much for getting me through this crazy past month.  Lord God, with you walking by my side, everything to the tiniest detail was made possible... even this vacation on a super tight budget!  Today, we arrived at our condo right across the street from a beach... Early next week, we'll be staying at a private cottage right on the beach... Father, thank you for this impossible vacation where each day of housing in the most perfect location (quiet, with kitchen, has washer/dryer... very homelike and peaceful with beautiful scenery)... all for less than $100 a day including taxes, fees, parking... each place I know will be perfect fit to my prayer requests and what my heart seeks.  Father, you provide crazily beyond anything I can even dream of... your love for me reflected in your abundant blessings, totally without obligation... you, Lord God, provide the impossible!

So Lord, as you keep providing the impossible, I continue to lay this vacation into your hands as Noel and I rest, relax and enjoy your provisions.  *wide smile*

In Jesus' name I praise my Father in heaven, amen.

Sorry for staying away so long!  I'll try to fill you in with a little more detail in regards to God's blessings in my life and crazy answered prayers... maybe.  *smile*  God keeps providing so much that if I don't write stuff down right away... there's so much more new stuff I can never catch up!  Can't wait to see what God does next!

Stay tuned... I plan to write a little more frequently while I'm here on vacation!  =D
Love,
Kristy

Kauai, Hawaii

Be careful what you pray for!

Sunday, September 2, 2012

At work, there are times when patients don't show up... or they're super late.  Working on a weekend means that I'm all alone.  There's no back-up for the burn/wounds department.  Sometimes, patients show up unexpected and dealing with an unexpected situation can be difficult.  Seeing one patient late can result in seeing _all_ the following patients late.  *sigh*  This is one of my greatest fears... to see one patient too late, then get behind with everything else.  *shudder*

So to start the day... this is what I prayed:

Father in heaven, thank you for getting me up this morning.  I had enough time to take care of Mango (neighbor's dog), my own two cats while Noel's away, AND still swipe into work on time!  Lord, I want to make my productivity minutes today.  May the patients I see be fun to work with.  I ask, Father, that you provide a nice flow in the patients I do see... may the patients not get to their appointments late... but also not too early either.

Thank you, Lord, for the start of a new day... for waking me up... and allowing me time to spend with you since I don't have to rush.  I'm really tired today, probably will be very easy for me to fall asleep... so God, can you help me so that I don't doze off while doing my paperwork?

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Yeah... be very careful what you pray for!  Today's patient load ended up being non-stop! 

First, I got the opportunity to exercise/play with two young patients in the burn unit.  Being young... commands like "stretch your elbow or use your hands like this (grasping motion)" doesn't work!  Instead, we went from playing iPhone games to drawing on paper to grabbing random toys laying around.  Thank you God that I was able to get into the pediatric department playroom!  That part of the treatments were really fun!  Kids are just so very cute!

However, in the wounds department after my short stint in the burn department... one patient arrived after another.  I even had an unexpected patient show up because they needed more bandages... the ones we placed in our department fell off.  Luckily, there was enough time to squeeze this person into my schedule... but that left me with no breaks throughout the day and a strict 30-minute lunch break.  *shrug*  Mix in cleaning rooms and documenting treatment... Wow... my day just FLEW by!  =O

I prayed for a good pace... I got it.  No breaks, but each patient arrived and walked in the door just as I finished another treatment.  I never needed to search for my patients or wonder if they were coming.  *wide grin*  No time either for dozing off!  Instead, between treatments, I threw sanitary wipes everywhere for an ultra-fast clean-up and chicken-scratched barely legible notations as my documentation.  Done!  *sweat drip*

Father, when I pray and ask for stuff... I know you answer... but to answer so specifically to the wording of my prayer request this morning... ummmmmm, I gotta modify how I pray huh?  Lord God, I can feel you laughing... you answered my prayers, but I just never considered that today's pace would be so impossibly fast nor some treatments super long.  Not only did I meet the day's worth of 320 minutes for my 9-hour day of productivity time... I got in the 500 minute range!  *jaw drop*  Father God... maybe don't take me so literally next time?  *hopeful look*  Either way, I've gotta be careful what I pray and how I pray for it!

In Jesus' name, I thank you Lord for a fun-filled, action-packed, non-stop day of tending to patients and their families... for meeting my minutes... and for not giving me the opportunity to doze off!  Amen.

A Perfect Day

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Everything started yesterday when my co-worker asked me to switch weekend days.  Instead of working today, she'll work for me and I'll work her shift next Sunday.  Hurray!!!

My first thought was that I'd use this extra time for sleep; however, when I got home, Noel reminded me that he was gonna go paintballing.  *drool*  Sleep?  What extra sleep?!?  I'm going paintballing!!!  =D  *so excited*

Arriving at SCP (Santa Clara Paintball), we were told that there was not enough advanced paintballers.  Joining the intermediate players provided me with the perfect opportunity to retrain myself.  Due to the low quantities of red blood cells, I haven't been able to play paintball all out.  Prior to today, carrying a full load of paintball gear and just _walking_ left me out of breath.  Then adding the run, dodge, slide, run-some-more portions of a paintball game... nope, couldn't do it!  I'd try to push my body, but ended up huffing and puffing in a corner gasping for oxygen.  *tsk tsk*  So embarrassing!

Today... a totally a different story!  After a long _long_ rest break... I ran into the paintball field with all the other waiting players.  Thirsting for blood, I double-check my gear.  Mask set in the correct place on my face?  Check.  Paintballs?  Check.   Barrel cover off and in my left pocket?  Check.  Hopper on?  Check.  Gun on?  It shoots!  Okay, I'm as ready as I'll ever be...

Silent count... three, two, one... GO!  Sprinting to the first dorito (a triangular shaped inflatable bunker), I dodge a flying paintball... almost hits me on my hand... slide into position... Oops... a little too much, I actually rock the dorito, giving away my position.  *shrug*  Maybe I'm being a little too excited?  Raising my new (for me) purple/black Ego 11 paintball gun, I try shooting everything I see move.  *smirk*  Why's my gun hissing and I feel air seeping through?  A little distracted, I finally notice that my surroundings are a little quieter than expected.  Ummmmm... where are my teammates?  Before I can really take a close look around, a paintball flies from my left and hits my bunker... next, a different paintball flies from my right.  Ahhhhh.... I'm getting pinned from both sides!  Tucking in tighter and tighter, I desperately look around for an escape or a way to shoot back.  Nope... I'm kinda stuck in a really small tight space.  Smaller and smaller I curl up... and then... splat... I'm out.  *wide grin*

You'd think being out was a bad thing right?  Well, getting killed is all part of the game and there are many more games to play!  Instead, today's main focus for me, personally, was my successful execution in being able to carry all my paintball gear and run!  Out of two consecutive games, I can at least last one full game participating at about 75% of my prior-to-chemo physical abilities.  Hurray!!!  *celebration*

To end this perfect day... I wanna get into the hot tub!!!

Peaking outside, I notice the trees swaying rather briskly in the wind.  We can do this!  I want that hot tub soak!  A quick rinse in the luke-warm shower, a fast trot to the hot tub... I nearly dive into the waiting warmth.  Sooooo comfy!  My cramping muscles and tender bruises melt away.  The jet streams bubbles in a caressing massage.  Even better yet, Noel shows me a stream of hot water jetting out from the base of the hot tub steps.  *deep sigh*  This is awesome!

Time ticks by.  The water's getting really hot!  Ummmm, but I don't wanna get out yet!  Ah, I know what I wanna do.  I sling my legs outside the hot tub on the ledge, fold my arms behind my neck for support and then float.  Roaring rumbles fill my ear.  Slowly, as I settle down and relax, I notice the tiny bubble skating across my skin.  Looking up, I see billowing clouds of steam obscure my vision... floating, drifting, spinning, soaring up into the unknown sky.  Suddenly, a cool breeze shoos away the steam exposing trees, heavy with blossoms, swaying and dancing to unseen forces.  Up above, I see a star or two sitting quietly in a vast dark sky.  Did that star just wink at me?  Staring harder, I start to see an extra star here, an extra star there... the more I look, the more stars I see, quietly gleaming in a cloudless night sky.  Turning to my right, I see tiny pink blossoms swirling in the calm waters between jets of bubbles.  Suddenly, the jets turn off... out half hour is done.  Quietly, gently, the splashing waters settle... bubbles looking like seed pearls coat my arm... deeper and deeper I look, finding delicate pink blossoms gliding through the depths of water now crystal clear.  A deep sigh... peace... comfort... and a cool breeze to guide me home.

Father in heaven, thank you for this perfect day.  Thank you for providing a day of paintball where the balls flew fast and hard.  Thank you for the ability to run and slide, to shoot and kill.  *wide grin*  Thank you, Lord Father for the beauty of the hot tub and my husband by my side.  I'm tired, but so happy!  The two cats are off playing by themselves, the paintball wash is complete and hanging to dry downstairs, and now it'll be time for bed.

Thank you, God of all creation, for this day of unplanned exciting fun and fulfilling rest.  In Jesus' name I give thanks for the abundant blessings of this day, amen.

For Noel's amusement... I'm including my new post hot tub hairstyle: