Ever told yourself that you'd stay away from candy or chocolate or ice cream? *wide grin* I've tried more times than I can count! Never successful. *sheepish grin*
This past season of Lent, I attempted to give up random unplanned snacking. My goal: to not grab food that looked good and immediately stuff it in my mouth. I wanted to hold back, use food as a reminder to spend some time with God in prayer... and then if i still wanted the snack, I could eat it!
I was successful.... ummmm... maybe 75% of my first week or two? By my third week... what did I want to do to remember God during Lent again? By the fourth week... Lent? *puzzled look*
My personal will-power is non-existent! *hanging head in shame*
The reason I'm letting you in on my weakness is so that you can gauge my current dietary changes... and I don't believe these changes happened by my own will-power. *smirk* I have none.
First step: a video my uncle gave me labeled Forks over Knives. This video suggested that all meat and dairy products be eliminated for health benefits. Research studies in this video support the theory that meat and diary products can lead to health problems such as cancer or aggravate other health issues such as diabetes. Ummmmm.... I LOVE MEAT! I don't know how to eat a meal free of meat products and usually starve in 1.5 hours after eating a big salad. *sniffle* The thought of no meat in a meal makes me cringe. Forget the health benefits... not happening!
But just in case... Father God, if you really really want me and Noel to change our dietary habits... I don't think it's possible... but if you want us to, then you've gotta teach us how to eat! Motivate us to buy the proper foods for our household. Provide us yummy food. And most important... don't let me feel hungry all the time else the diet changes will be impossible! In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Second step: black bean vegetarian burger meal at our monthly counselor meeting. Bean burger? The thought alone makes me shudder. However, eating the meal wasn't so bad... the black beans almost have a meaty texture, the taste was pretty good (way better than the veggie burgers I've nibbled at prior to this experience), and the most important part... I didn't get hungry! *surprised look* Maybe a meal without meat and dairy is really possible?
Third step: Noel and I make the decision to change our diet from 80% meat to 10-20% meat and minimize our exposure to dairy products... gotta start somewhere right? I can't see myself cutting out everything! I still have cheese (yummy!) in the fridge... I've got a freezer full of frozen meat... and a pantry filled with processed foods like cookies and quick snacks. *wide grin* All my known dishes use meat... this is gonna be really really tough!
Fourth step: when buying groceries... no more random snacks allowed, maybe one meat product allowed, and the rest are veggies and LOTS of beans. I'm getting to really love going to Trader Joe's... yummy assortment of different food ideas. Brown rice medley is yummy with chicken broth and garlic, apple butter jam is super yummy on rice cakes, home-made trail mix is my new snack... I throw in almonds, cashews, pine nuts, sunflower seeds, cranberries, sometimes dried bananas or apples. I'm learning the importance of prepping healthier emergency snacks for when our meals don't quite satisfy my hunger. I still fail at planning ahead, which leads to me eating cookies and candy. *shrug* My purpose isn't to be perfect... just to eat better. I seem to be on the right track. =D Found some yummy ice-cream-like products made from soy or coconut! *drool*
Side note... we've been able to cut down Noel's use of diabetes medicine with this change in our eating habits. Even with the decreased medicine dosages, Noel's blood sugars are more stable and he's even lost weight! Looking good Hubby!
Fifth step: understanding recipes... this is a learning process of what foods to combine so that I don't get hungry in an hour. I now know that no matter what I mix with a salad... I get hungry really quick! No salad meals for me! I've also learned that a mix of beans, rice, tofu, and nuts feel like a normal meal... just can't eat any of these items by itself. Anytime I don't mix enough stuff together, I feel like I'm STARVING! *grimace* This is when I start digging for snacks. *wide grin* Learning that onion and garlic, salt and pepper, carrots and peas, tofu, rice... these are easy to store and use.... but I'm so used to cooking these items with meat! Work in progress... String cheese anyone? *wink*
Today, Noel cooked rice with eggs, peas, carrots, salt and pepper... we added cashews and raisins as an experiment. Wow, surprisingly yummy! This was our first self-made almost meatless dish that's not a bean-based soup. Hurray!!! This diet thing really takes a lot of thought and effort, but we're doing it!
Actually, I feel better with our new dietary changes. Even though I haven't lost any significant weight like Noel did (probably because I still eat lots of random snacks at work), my body is actually starting to crave food with less meat. *surprised look* Never in my lifetime did I think my tastes would change so drastically in just 2 months! I know I read that tastes can change... but somehow, I always doubted that I could survive without meat and diary. *smirk* God is proving me wrong.
Lord Father in heaven, you really are an awesome God! You take my entire lifetime of poor dietary habits and enable Noel and I to turn our lives around. You gave us the motivation, the recipes, the backup snacks, the support from our friends, and the proof in Noel's improved health that eating less meat and diary really does make a difference! I'm still shocked that I can wave away the thought of meals consisting solely of meat. I'm still puzzled by how much my life has changed in these past 2 months. Thank you, Lord, for giving Noel and I a feeling of excitement as we try out new meals. Thank you that shopping is a fun challenge we participate in together. Thank you, Lord God, that you've place Noel and I both in a mental frame-of-mind to support each other... I couldn't do it without my husband being so interested and motivated in our new dietary lifestyle... by myself... totally not happening!
Father, I find it really interesting that you took such a casual prayer of mine and turned my life around. You show your power again in my life in such an unexpected way. I never expected to ever change my eating habits... but I did offer the chance of change in my heart and you actually took me up on it! I'm grateful beyond measure for the improved health of my husband. I'm awed at the money we're saving with our new meal plans. I'm still in shock at my own positive emotional response to having my life changed again.
Lord, you really are a wonderful, mysterious, funny, loving Father God who also loves to play pranks and take up challenges I throw your way while internally thinking "impossible." When you prove me wrong, I get my eyes opened again and again to the proof of your love for me, your power, and that the word "impossible" isn't in your vocabulary. =D
Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of Noel's improved health and mine as well. Please continue to teach us how to cook yummy foods and really praise you for what we eat.
In Jesus' holy name I pray, amen.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Newest Video and T-shirt Fundraiser
Wednesday, April 26, 2012
Here's the link to the newest video. Hurray!!! Thanks Stephen! =D
http://youtu.be/T9MK0Hzpx40
If anyone wants to support my youth group's big spring retreat... please buy a shirt! =D
(not tax-deductible... Sorry)
Writing on the shirt:
Top parenthesis - "Footprints!" (name of youth group)
Bottom parenthesis - "Mark 8:27" (Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do the people say I am?"
"(RE)DISCOVER" (this is our retreat theme about discovering or rediscovering Jesus in our own lives)
"Bigfoot 2012" (this is the annual big spring event for our youth)
Thanks everyone for your support regardless of the shirt! Please help by praying for this event!
I'm just so excited for this year's Bigfoot retreat... can't wait to see what God'll do in my life and the lives of these youth (grades 7-12) *big hugs*
Love,
Kristy
Here's the link to the newest video. Hurray!!! Thanks Stephen! =D
http://youtu.be/T9MK0Hzpx40
If anyone wants to support my youth group's big spring retreat... please buy a shirt! =D
(not tax-deductible... Sorry)
 |
| Black shirt with sapphire writing |
 |
| Sapphire shirt with white writing |
Top parenthesis - "Footprints!" (name of youth group)
Bottom parenthesis - "Mark 8:27" (Jesus asked his disciples, "Who do the people say I am?"
"(RE)DISCOVER" (this is our retreat theme about discovering or rediscovering Jesus in our own lives)
"Bigfoot 2012" (this is the annual big spring event for our youth)
Thanks everyone for your support regardless of the shirt! Please help by praying for this event!
I'm just so excited for this year's Bigfoot retreat... can't wait to see what God'll do in my life and the lives of these youth (grades 7-12) *big hugs*
Love,
Kristy
Sunday, April 22, 2012
More than trash
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Opening the gate to my backyard, I step on these 2cm wide, circular, spiky seed pods. *grimace* One immediately wedges itself into my shoe! Step, wobble, step, wobble. *sigh* I pry one seed pod out of my shoe... take a step... get another one gets stuck! Grrrrrrrrr... everything looks like a mess. These seed pods drop small seeds and these paper-like seed casings all over the place. Another tree drops these worm-like somethings all over coating the ground yellow. Then there's the leaves!!! Leaves in every nook and cranny... dry on top and wet on the layers hidden underneath.
Taking a look around, I'm overwhelmed! Leaves, seed pods, pollen things, and then the weeds! *grimace* This is going to take forever to clean! *sigh*
I grab a broom and start sweeping... pollen and paper seed casings smear everywhere. I take a dustpan and start scooping the leaves and large round seed pods... kinda works. Boring! How about I try weeding? There's already a huge mess all around me so I'll just throw the weeds behind me. *smirk*
Cleaning the backyard feels like it's going to take forever... *grumble grumble* Weather's hot... the sun's heat is pounding on my back... sweat causes little prickly sensations all over my skin. Yuck! I feel coated in sweat, dust, and pollen... is that a bug crawling on me? *shudder* I don't see anything. =S
As I pull weeds out, I realize that seeds from last year are growing! I've got 6 random carrots, 6 lanky tomato plants (don't know what variety), 2 green onions, more small potatoes than I can count, and lots of violets and other small flower plants from last year. Yikes! I thought that these plants would all die during the winter and that the seeds I planted late autumn were either all duds or sprouted and killed by the cold. Why do I have new plants growing now?
Carefully removing all the weeds and trash dropped from the 3 different trees hanging over my backyard... I see earthworms, gross chubby bugs, spiders, and lots of ants. *shudder* However, beyond the bugs, weeds, and tree by-products, I find moist soft soil. *puzzled* How did this happen? Last year, the ground was dry, super hard, mostly clay, and a pain to dig into! What's different this year?
Hmmmmm... Oh yeah, the difference is garbage! Last year I dumped moldy leftovers and shriveled veggies into the ground and buried them for compost. I also got lazy raking the fallen leaves, bark, and random seed particles... those also got mixed in. *smirk* Guess a single year's worth of trash and bugs broke the particles down into fresh earth that helped counter the dense clay particles. Hurray!!!
Lord Father in heaven, this world you created is amazing! Even trash has it's uses. I grumble at the garbage dropped by the trees surrounding my backyard... and yet, it's these very same tree left-overs that help to soften my soil and even keep newly sprouting seedlings warm during the random cold spells. I complain about the weeds, but they actually helped protect my seedlings by providing moist soil near the surface where I planted the seeds. Now that the backyard is clean, it looks a lot prettier! But Lord, I also notice that the top inch of soil dries out in a days time, requiring more water to grow the shallow veggie seeds I planted.
God, you've created many wonderful things that I normally don't appreciate... bugs, fallen tree particles, weeds, food trashed by mold... and yet, each has its own purpose. What took me 4 hours to clean-up will result in even more time to maintain and more water used now that the natural ground-covering is removed. Please open my eyes, Lord God, to see more and more of your blessings both in my life and the world around me.
Thank you, Lord, that I have the opportunity too see the world with fresh eyes. Thank you that I have this opportunity to enjoy the sun, get a good work-out, and watch seedlings grow. Thank you, Father God, for the ability to appreciate and see the worth of what I normally consider worthless. Lord, keep changing me to see the beauty and purpose in all of your creations, not just in what I want or like to see.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Opening the gate to my backyard, I step on these 2cm wide, circular, spiky seed pods. *grimace* One immediately wedges itself into my shoe! Step, wobble, step, wobble. *sigh* I pry one seed pod out of my shoe... take a step... get another one gets stuck! Grrrrrrrrr... everything looks like a mess. These seed pods drop small seeds and these paper-like seed casings all over the place. Another tree drops these worm-like somethings all over coating the ground yellow. Then there's the leaves!!! Leaves in every nook and cranny... dry on top and wet on the layers hidden underneath.
Taking a look around, I'm overwhelmed! Leaves, seed pods, pollen things, and then the weeds! *grimace* This is going to take forever to clean! *sigh*
I grab a broom and start sweeping... pollen and paper seed casings smear everywhere. I take a dustpan and start scooping the leaves and large round seed pods... kinda works. Boring! How about I try weeding? There's already a huge mess all around me so I'll just throw the weeds behind me. *smirk*
Cleaning the backyard feels like it's going to take forever... *grumble grumble* Weather's hot... the sun's heat is pounding on my back... sweat causes little prickly sensations all over my skin. Yuck! I feel coated in sweat, dust, and pollen... is that a bug crawling on me? *shudder* I don't see anything. =S
As I pull weeds out, I realize that seeds from last year are growing! I've got 6 random carrots, 6 lanky tomato plants (don't know what variety), 2 green onions, more small potatoes than I can count, and lots of violets and other small flower plants from last year. Yikes! I thought that these plants would all die during the winter and that the seeds I planted late autumn were either all duds or sprouted and killed by the cold. Why do I have new plants growing now?
Carefully removing all the weeds and trash dropped from the 3 different trees hanging over my backyard... I see earthworms, gross chubby bugs, spiders, and lots of ants. *shudder* However, beyond the bugs, weeds, and tree by-products, I find moist soft soil. *puzzled* How did this happen? Last year, the ground was dry, super hard, mostly clay, and a pain to dig into! What's different this year?
Hmmmmm... Oh yeah, the difference is garbage! Last year I dumped moldy leftovers and shriveled veggies into the ground and buried them for compost. I also got lazy raking the fallen leaves, bark, and random seed particles... those also got mixed in. *smirk* Guess a single year's worth of trash and bugs broke the particles down into fresh earth that helped counter the dense clay particles. Hurray!!!
Lord Father in heaven, this world you created is amazing! Even trash has it's uses. I grumble at the garbage dropped by the trees surrounding my backyard... and yet, it's these very same tree left-overs that help to soften my soil and even keep newly sprouting seedlings warm during the random cold spells. I complain about the weeds, but they actually helped protect my seedlings by providing moist soil near the surface where I planted the seeds. Now that the backyard is clean, it looks a lot prettier! But Lord, I also notice that the top inch of soil dries out in a days time, requiring more water to grow the shallow veggie seeds I planted.
God, you've created many wonderful things that I normally don't appreciate... bugs, fallen tree particles, weeds, food trashed by mold... and yet, each has its own purpose. What took me 4 hours to clean-up will result in even more time to maintain and more water used now that the natural ground-covering is removed. Please open my eyes, Lord God, to see more and more of your blessings both in my life and the world around me.
Thank you, Lord, that I have the opportunity too see the world with fresh eyes. Thank you that I have this opportunity to enjoy the sun, get a good work-out, and watch seedlings grow. Thank you, Father God, for the ability to appreciate and see the worth of what I normally consider worthless. Lord, keep changing me to see the beauty and purpose in all of your creations, not just in what I want or like to see.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Current update
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Hello everyone!!! *big wave*
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog... a jumble of my thoughts, struggles I find myself dealing with, and my prayers to my Father in heaven through his Son, Jesus Christ.
My beliefs, my passions, my life... I try to write it all down... but can't ever seem to even scratch the surface. I see God answer my prayers so quickly and in so many ways that most never make it to my blog. I find that my attention span is super short so interesting thoughts drift away like dust floating on the wind. And then... my laziness! Lots of times, I format my next blog post in my head... turn around... what was it again? *sheepish look*
I just checked my stats today...
One of my goals is that someone from each continent (except Antarctica *smirk*) will read my blog... and all of you out there have made my dream come true! *happy smile* I'm so excited!!! YAY!!! Pretty cool to know that I can reach people from around the world. =D
My purpose in blogging isn't to count how many people read my writing or where everyone is from. Instead, my true intention is to lay my life and my thoughts and my prayers out in the open so that you can take joy from my life and appreciate all the blessings in your own life. My hope is that you will read my blog and take time to look at God's awesome creations, treasure your precious family and friends, and see how God is crazy real in my life and can be in yours. I want my words to make a positive difference in your life. I want lives changed. I want to give you a reason to hope in times of struggle and despair. I want you to have the satisfaction of enjoying exactly where you are now. I want you to know that you are loved. I want you to know that your life is meaningful. I want you to know that you always have a choice. I want you to celebrate the life you're given... Heheheee... I'm not asking too much am I? *wink*
Anyways, quick update.
Remember how I was worried that all my eyebrows and eyelashes would fall out with my hair and that my face would look funny? (ummm... maybe I forgot to mention this?) Well, turns out that God totally answered my prayers! First my hair fell out on top of my head... but all the bald spots are now gone so I can finally stop shaving! Monday evening on April 9th was my last shave. To celebrate, my co-workers used henna to draw pictures on my scalp... I still have flowers, cats, coconut tree, dolphin, butterfly, bee, smiley face, star, sun, and various other designs decorating my head. So fun! Now, I've got a fuzzy layer of hair about half a centimeter long covering the henna designs.
Three weeks ago, I noticed that my eyebrows were really thin , so much that I could see my skin through the hairs... now, it's back to being almost solid black. Two weeks ago, I found my lower eyelashes falling out... now, I have a fuzzy short layer of lower eyelashes growing. This week, I find my upper eyelashes falling out (frequently into my eyes), but no one really notices my lack of hair because God's provided that my new upper eyelashes create a black line like eyeshadow. *wide grin* Seems like people only notice my lack of eyelash length when I say "Hey look, when I close my eyes, you can see that my old lashes are present only in chunks!" Heheheee... God is awesome in allowing me a face that still looks normal. Hurray!
Physically speaking, my body still retain more fluid than it did before chemotherapy treatments... still have to wear compression stocking and elevate my legs at work. Strength-wise... I don't have the burning sensations in my muscles when I move... I'm just too lazy to exercise. Impaired sensation... not as bad as it used to be... still present, but at least now I can feel that my cats' fur has texture and the fact that it isn't silky smooth. Weight... I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life! *sniffle* I weigh about 2 pounds more than my heaviest before chemo and an average of 6 pounds more than my standard weight since the start of high school! (wow... that's a looong time) Guess my weight gain may not sound like a lot, but I'm short! My body will show my increase in weight easier than someone who's taller. *deep sigh* Not sure how much of my weight is fat verses fluid retention... but exercise regime coming up... where's my exercise DVDs again? *wink*
Noel and I are also working on switching our diet to incorporate less meat and less dairy products due to a video my uncle gave us. Not sure the diet's helping me yet... still learning to balance the meals with different veggies so that I don't get hungry in less than 2 hours... ummmm... maybe that's not quite the right marker... I'm always eating snacks at work every 1-2 hours. *wide grin* At least for Noel, this diet has drastically allowed him to maintain a consistent blood glucose of around 90s-100s for his diabetes and lower his use of medicines! Wow... there's something to this diet because even when Noel and I go off our new diet for a meal or two, his blood glucose doesn't spike like it use to! *joyfully clapping* Now... if this diet can only help me out too! *smirk*
My work... I'm still working full-time. God's blessed me with being able to work through my chemo treatments... but due to the many doctor appointments and the recent cold I got (now gone), I've only got 2 days of sick time left. Not bad huh? God didn't let me run out of sick leave! Now I'm just going to continue to trust God that I'll not lack for sick time when I need it. (wanna save up vacation time for my sister's wedding and then actually take a vacation with Noel later this year.) =D
Noel's work... still nothing there. I remember one of my prayer requests being that Noel would get a job offer my March 6th... didn't happen. However, I'm seeing that even in this situation, God knows best. Because Noel doesn't yet have a job, he's able to be at home to polish his portfolio, learn new skills, and work on a personal project that may potentially allow him to switch job positions.
Lord God, thank you that you answer the intent behind my prayers and not just the wording of my prayer requests itself. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to see you provide the best in regards to my health, my life, and even in Noel's future job. As Noel and I wait for your provision, God, I ask that you give us patience to wait on your timing, eyes/ears/heart open to walk where you lead, and wisdom in what we pray for.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Hello everyone!!! *big wave*
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog... a jumble of my thoughts, struggles I find myself dealing with, and my prayers to my Father in heaven through his Son, Jesus Christ.
My beliefs, my passions, my life... I try to write it all down... but can't ever seem to even scratch the surface. I see God answer my prayers so quickly and in so many ways that most never make it to my blog. I find that my attention span is super short so interesting thoughts drift away like dust floating on the wind. And then... my laziness! Lots of times, I format my next blog post in my head... turn around... what was it again? *sheepish look*
I just checked my stats today...
One of my goals is that someone from each continent (except Antarctica *smirk*) will read my blog... and all of you out there have made my dream come true! *happy smile* I'm so excited!!! YAY!!! Pretty cool to know that I can reach people from around the world. =D
My purpose in blogging isn't to count how many people read my writing or where everyone is from. Instead, my true intention is to lay my life and my thoughts and my prayers out in the open so that you can take joy from my life and appreciate all the blessings in your own life. My hope is that you will read my blog and take time to look at God's awesome creations, treasure your precious family and friends, and see how God is crazy real in my life and can be in yours. I want my words to make a positive difference in your life. I want lives changed. I want to give you a reason to hope in times of struggle and despair. I want you to have the satisfaction of enjoying exactly where you are now. I want you to know that you are loved. I want you to know that your life is meaningful. I want you to know that you always have a choice. I want you to celebrate the life you're given... Heheheee... I'm not asking too much am I? *wink*
Anyways, quick update.
Remember how I was worried that all my eyebrows and eyelashes would fall out with my hair and that my face would look funny? (ummm... maybe I forgot to mention this?) Well, turns out that God totally answered my prayers! First my hair fell out on top of my head... but all the bald spots are now gone so I can finally stop shaving! Monday evening on April 9th was my last shave. To celebrate, my co-workers used henna to draw pictures on my scalp... I still have flowers, cats, coconut tree, dolphin, butterfly, bee, smiley face, star, sun, and various other designs decorating my head. So fun! Now, I've got a fuzzy layer of hair about half a centimeter long covering the henna designs.
Three weeks ago, I noticed that my eyebrows were really thin , so much that I could see my skin through the hairs... now, it's back to being almost solid black. Two weeks ago, I found my lower eyelashes falling out... now, I have a fuzzy short layer of lower eyelashes growing. This week, I find my upper eyelashes falling out (frequently into my eyes), but no one really notices my lack of hair because God's provided that my new upper eyelashes create a black line like eyeshadow. *wide grin* Seems like people only notice my lack of eyelash length when I say "Hey look, when I close my eyes, you can see that my old lashes are present only in chunks!" Heheheee... God is awesome in allowing me a face that still looks normal. Hurray!
Physically speaking, my body still retain more fluid than it did before chemotherapy treatments... still have to wear compression stocking and elevate my legs at work. Strength-wise... I don't have the burning sensations in my muscles when I move... I'm just too lazy to exercise. Impaired sensation... not as bad as it used to be... still present, but at least now I can feel that my cats' fur has texture and the fact that it isn't silky smooth. Weight... I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life! *sniffle* I weigh about 2 pounds more than my heaviest before chemo and an average of 6 pounds more than my standard weight since the start of high school! (wow... that's a looong time) Guess my weight gain may not sound like a lot, but I'm short! My body will show my increase in weight easier than someone who's taller. *deep sigh* Not sure how much of my weight is fat verses fluid retention... but exercise regime coming up... where's my exercise DVDs again? *wink*
Noel and I are also working on switching our diet to incorporate less meat and less dairy products due to a video my uncle gave us. Not sure the diet's helping me yet... still learning to balance the meals with different veggies so that I don't get hungry in less than 2 hours... ummmm... maybe that's not quite the right marker... I'm always eating snacks at work every 1-2 hours. *wide grin* At least for Noel, this diet has drastically allowed him to maintain a consistent blood glucose of around 90s-100s for his diabetes and lower his use of medicines! Wow... there's something to this diet because even when Noel and I go off our new diet for a meal or two, his blood glucose doesn't spike like it use to! *joyfully clapping* Now... if this diet can only help me out too! *smirk*
My work... I'm still working full-time. God's blessed me with being able to work through my chemo treatments... but due to the many doctor appointments and the recent cold I got (now gone), I've only got 2 days of sick time left. Not bad huh? God didn't let me run out of sick leave! Now I'm just going to continue to trust God that I'll not lack for sick time when I need it. (wanna save up vacation time for my sister's wedding and then actually take a vacation with Noel later this year.) =D
Noel's work... still nothing there. I remember one of my prayer requests being that Noel would get a job offer my March 6th... didn't happen. However, I'm seeing that even in this situation, God knows best. Because Noel doesn't yet have a job, he's able to be at home to polish his portfolio, learn new skills, and work on a personal project that may potentially allow him to switch job positions.
Lord God, thank you that you answer the intent behind my prayers and not just the wording of my prayer requests itself. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to see you provide the best in regards to my health, my life, and even in Noel's future job. As Noel and I wait for your provision, God, I ask that you give us patience to wait on your timing, eyes/ears/heart open to walk where you lead, and wisdom in what we pray for.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Amazing wonders
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Ahhhh... this week's supposed to rain again. When the weather reports state rain... I'm learning to expect these tiny little drizzles. What rain? *grin*
Tonight... it RAINED! Lightening and thunder.... so cool!
Strips of light flash through the sky
Indoor lamps do softly flicker
Objects hidden here they lie
Thunder roars and buildings quiver
Heavy rain now pounds the ground
Mini rivers newly laid
Wind blows leaves high around
Fractured light and ripples made
Watching nature sing it's song
I stare in awe at this new world found
This life and power here not long
God's creation with light and sound
Lord in heaven, thank you for the rest and peace I find in your creations. Thank you for the time I can sit and appreciate the dancing light and roar of sound. *wide grin* Thank you for the reminder to just sit back and rest... to let my worries and thoughts drift away into your care. God, again, I am reminded of your love for me, the intricate details of your creation, and the joy found in your presence. Again and again, I give my worries to you and ask that you give me wisdom to handle situations I find myself in and am confused about what to do.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Ahhhh... this week's supposed to rain again. When the weather reports state rain... I'm learning to expect these tiny little drizzles. What rain? *grin*
Tonight... it RAINED! Lightening and thunder.... so cool!
Strips of light flash through the sky
Indoor lamps do softly flicker
Objects hidden here they lie
Thunder roars and buildings quiver
Heavy rain now pounds the ground
Mini rivers newly laid
Wind blows leaves high around
Fractured light and ripples made
Watching nature sing it's song
I stare in awe at this new world found
This life and power here not long
God's creation with light and sound
Lord in heaven, thank you for the rest and peace I find in your creations. Thank you for the time I can sit and appreciate the dancing light and roar of sound. *wide grin* Thank you for the reminder to just sit back and rest... to let my worries and thoughts drift away into your care. God, again, I am reminded of your love for me, the intricate details of your creation, and the joy found in your presence. Again and again, I give my worries to you and ask that you give me wisdom to handle situations I find myself in and am confused about what to do.
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Wanting to follow God more...
Monday 4-9-12
When everything goes wrong and my own strength fails me, I can feel God and see God the clearest. At the point when my wits, strength, and heart cannot find an answer, God has always opened a path... frequently at the very last moment. Over and over again, this is how I've seen God prove himself in my life... this is how my faith in Christ grows.
I've learned that if I want God's best, I have to first ask him for it... but once I do, options of "almost good enough" tempt me left and right... time starts to run out... I have a choice. If I take matters into my own hands, I don't see God answer my prayers... I don't have the proof that he exists. If on the other hand, I choose to wait and pray, believing that God will come through, answering the intent of my prayer requests, even to the point of passing up very good opportunities... I find that I get to see miracles.
However... times like now when so many things are going smoothly... I have the hardest time hearing and feeling God. I continuously have the want and the capability to make choices in my own power... my need to depend on God lessens... I struggle even harder... fighting to have a glimpse of God's power in my life... searching, reaching, begging... God feels so far away even when I know he's right here with me. This is frustrating! Part of me wants my life to be out of control so that I can see God totally in control. Thinking this, knowing my own pride and selfishness, I battle myself left and right... aching to feel God's power and presence at work once again.
I can still see God in my life... so many recent answered prayer requests: God's providing me a laptop from my family since my prior one broke, I was able to provide a beautiful necklace and bracelet for my sister's wedding that look like real diamonds in a unique setting without spending out of budget, I am given time to rest and read manga, my taxes are now done... so many prayers... all answered! God knows my heart, my intentions, my needs... in my stubbornness, even knowing God's awesomely perfect provision, I start to depend on my own limited strength and willfulness.
*sigh* You'd think I'd learn huh? Nope... guess I've gotta learn again and again... always struggling to let God lead in my life... to hear God so that I can follow him in order that I may more clearly see and feel his abundant blessings
Lord Father in heaven, I want you to lead in my life. I'm stubborn, prideful, and depend on myself most of the time to get stuff done. I don't want my life to be like this. I've tasted the sweetness of having you, Lord, lead in my life. I know first-hand the joy and peace of being in your presence... help me to rest and lean on you in all aspects of my life so that I can more clearly see you... help me to see you, feel you, know you more without having to depend on difficult times when I'm helpless and defenseless. Let me see you, God, even when I'm strong and everything is going right...
Lord, only by following you do I feel truly complete... so help me Lord... help me not to attempt filling this God-shaped hole in my heart with my own wants, pleasures, strengths... I don't want the emptiness that comes inside when I do my own thing. Lord, I ask that you teach me how to see you in the everyday mundane parts of my life so I can be a step closer to you... I want each day to be a new day of adventure, fun, learning a little more about you, a time of joy that doesn't depend on the circumstances I find myself in... Father, I want to see more of your power and your blessings!
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
When everything goes wrong and my own strength fails me, I can feel God and see God the clearest. At the point when my wits, strength, and heart cannot find an answer, God has always opened a path... frequently at the very last moment. Over and over again, this is how I've seen God prove himself in my life... this is how my faith in Christ grows.
I've learned that if I want God's best, I have to first ask him for it... but once I do, options of "almost good enough" tempt me left and right... time starts to run out... I have a choice. If I take matters into my own hands, I don't see God answer my prayers... I don't have the proof that he exists. If on the other hand, I choose to wait and pray, believing that God will come through, answering the intent of my prayer requests, even to the point of passing up very good opportunities... I find that I get to see miracles.
However... times like now when so many things are going smoothly... I have the hardest time hearing and feeling God. I continuously have the want and the capability to make choices in my own power... my need to depend on God lessens... I struggle even harder... fighting to have a glimpse of God's power in my life... searching, reaching, begging... God feels so far away even when I know he's right here with me. This is frustrating! Part of me wants my life to be out of control so that I can see God totally in control. Thinking this, knowing my own pride and selfishness, I battle myself left and right... aching to feel God's power and presence at work once again.
I can still see God in my life... so many recent answered prayer requests: God's providing me a laptop from my family since my prior one broke, I was able to provide a beautiful necklace and bracelet for my sister's wedding that look like real diamonds in a unique setting without spending out of budget, I am given time to rest and read manga, my taxes are now done... so many prayers... all answered! God knows my heart, my intentions, my needs... in my stubbornness, even knowing God's awesomely perfect provision, I start to depend on my own limited strength and willfulness.
*sigh* You'd think I'd learn huh? Nope... guess I've gotta learn again and again... always struggling to let God lead in my life... to hear God so that I can follow him in order that I may more clearly see and feel his abundant blessings
Lord Father in heaven, I want you to lead in my life. I'm stubborn, prideful, and depend on myself most of the time to get stuff done. I don't want my life to be like this. I've tasted the sweetness of having you, Lord, lead in my life. I know first-hand the joy and peace of being in your presence... help me to rest and lean on you in all aspects of my life so that I can more clearly see you... help me to see you, feel you, know you more without having to depend on difficult times when I'm helpless and defenseless. Let me see you, God, even when I'm strong and everything is going right...
Lord, only by following you do I feel truly complete... so help me Lord... help me not to attempt filling this God-shaped hole in my heart with my own wants, pleasures, strengths... I don't want the emptiness that comes inside when I do my own thing. Lord, I ask that you teach me how to see you in the everyday mundane parts of my life so I can be a step closer to you... I want each day to be a new day of adventure, fun, learning a little more about you, a time of joy that doesn't depend on the circumstances I find myself in... Father, I want to see more of your power and your blessings!
In Jesus' name I pray, amen.
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