Medical options

Today I went to the Stanford Cancer Center.  Outside was chaotic due to the ongoing construction.  Parking costs $6 with very few spots available.

My first steps into the cancer center was enough to let me know that this was a private hospital.  Very fancy... wood floors, lots of windows, expensive flat-screen monitors, tall brightly lit open areas . . . and real orchids placed in every nook.  *drool*  Straight ahead, a person played the piano near an open staircase.  To my right, a Walgreens pharmacy.  To my left, a person offering free 15-minute massages in a massage chair!  *deep sigh*  Wondering how much my hospital is paying for this consult.  *shudder*

The oncologist says I should do a combination of two intravenous chemotherapy drugs (Gemcitabine and Docetaxel).  This chemotherapy combination has a 40% likelihood of reducing my tumors and is supposedly the "place to start."  According to her, other options have even worse side effects than what I will mention below.

There is no "cure" for my cancer, only a delay to prolong  my life.  Fun huh?  Will prolonging my life be worth it?  There's no answer.  I either chose to dive in head-first and try some kind of cancer treatment . . . or do nothing.  Neither option sounds appealing because of the the inherent risks, pain, and eventual diminished function.

If I follow through with this chemotherapy, the treatment itself is about 2 hours long (not including the lab tests and MD visits which will take over another hour) every 2 weeks for 6 months.  I'll have nausea and potential vomiting for a day or two after every injection of the chemo drugs (this side effect is modified by more medications).  Then 7-10 days after each injection, my immune system will have it's lowest white blood cell count, meaning I'll be more succeptible to infections/colds.  By around the 3rd month, I may notice side effects such as swelling and neuropathy . . . maybe hair loss, muscle pain, extreme fatigue, diarrhea, bleeding, or even harm to my kidneys and liver.  To top this off, the doctor says that I'll likely be too tired to play paintball and should stay away from large crowds and children.  *smirk*  I work in a hospital, get into very close proximity with patients, work with youth kids, and participate in a fair-sized church community.  *wide grin*  I don't plan to give up!

If the chemotherapy works, I may have a year or two reprieve before the tumors start noticeably growing again.  If the chemotherapy doesn't work . . . I go on to try other chemotherapy options... or radiation.

Either way, the oncologist expects the tumors to continue growing with eventual surgery in the future to remove any large masses that cause symptoms.  In the potential next surgery, the doctors can assess my body to see if radiation during surgery is an option.  None of these options are guaranteed to work.  *sigh*  Actually, the oncologist specifically  told me to expect more tumors to grow regardless of the treatments I try.

Father in heaven, I prayed that you'd give the doctors wisdom in their plan of action, course of treatment, and that I would trust you to guide the doctors in what steps I should take.  God, I trust that you'll answer my prayers.  So Lord, help me to listen and understand what the doctors offer.  When the decision for my treatment is offered and set, may all the doctors be in accord to the best treatment you want me to take.  Please don't let my heart be hardened to the offered course(s) of care because of my personal fear or stubbornness.  Please give Noel and I peace and comfort as we plan our future and face the difficulties ahead.

Thank you Lord God that my cancer is one in which I can comfortably live until the tumors get so large that they interfere with my bodily function or activities.  Thank you Father that I have options to choose from and a choice to make.  Thank you, Lord, for this life I have yet to live.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.