Planning for the future

When people hear the diagnosis cancer, many think "death," an end to all hopes and an end to all dreams.

Just saying that "I'm diagnosed with cancer" results in instantaneous frowns of concern, shock, looks of pity. The official diagnosis of cancer can bring an instant sense of hopelessness, a future prediction of endless suffering and unfathomable pain.

Regardless of the cancer diagnosis... doesn't my future end in death anyways? Can you say I won't die of a car accident tomorrow? Or maybe be physically injuried to a point where I can no longer function at work? Who can say how long my life will last or how well my life will be lived? I can't... can you?

Will I suffer? How long will I live? *casual shrug*

These are questions I haven't asked my doctors to answer. I may ask just for my personal amusement. *grin* Regardless of the answers I may receive, I will continue to plan for the future. I will continue to hope that I have the physical strength and mental capacity and emotional stability to carry out my plans... And if at some point, I loose some of what I am now capable of doing, then I will adapt. Why waste the time I have now fearing my potential future? My future may become worse than anyone can even imagine... Or my future may become even better than anyone can imagine! I will not limit myself, but I also will not ignore the potential struggles ahead.

God gave me a certain amount of time to live, and I am determined to live my life fully! Why hold back? I don't plan on living forever. I'd rather have a fun-filled and meaningful life than dying in my sleep, old and frail, unable to move. *wink*. Hopefully, I won't die young and frail, unable to move.... That would suck! But still, I trust that my Father in heaven can bring me hope and joy and peace even if my life takes the worst imaginable path... I intend to make a difference regardless of my own capabilities. God took the time to create me, I will honor my Lord in heaven by not letting my life go to waste. Hmmmm... Then again, I waste plenty of time reading manga, watching anime, and avoiding chores. *Wide grin*

Father in heaven, I thank you that I can continue to hope, continue to dream, continue to live. A human diagnosis is nothing compared to the power contained in your slightest thought. May I not be swayed by human fears, human-made hopelessness, human despair. Lord Father God in heaven, may my life be lived in your truth, your hope, your light. Help me to serve with continued strength, passion, and love... at work, at home, at church, amongst friends and family. Help Noel and I plan our finances. Give us wisdom and strength as we learn to budget our money in a three-month trial to live only on one person's budget (starting next year). Bless us with being able to continue to host gatherings of dinner and games at our home.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.