Holding Back, Moving Forward

Time flies in the blink of an eye.  Work.  Eat.  Sleep.  Repeat.

By now, I had hoped to be back at work full-time.  I mean, come on... it's been 6 months since the last chemotherapy injection! 

Accepting the fact that my body cannot handle full-time work, I concede to working only 8-hours on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.  I was hoping that by May, or at the very latest, start of June, I could return to work full-time.  I want to be a productive, fully present, member of the team at work.

Hasn't happened yet.

Every time I say that I feel stronger and I tell myself "if next week remains steady, I'll add in those extra 8 hours a week and finally work myself back to full-time!"  *super hopeful look*

Nope... every time I even _think_ something about increasing my working hours, my body rebels by telling myself it's tired.  *deep sigh*  So yeah... I'm still on 8-hours for 3 days a week.

"Rest is good."

"Your body's gone through a lot."

"Just be patient a little longer."

Easy being told, but hard to hear because there's no end in sight.  Try living this lifestyle when there's a thousand-and-one things you want to do!  I still haven't gone rockclimbing yet.  I haven't played paintball since last November!  No matter what anyone tells me, I'm getting pretty impatient with myself.

But on the positive side, I am able to do more daily activities such as cooking one or two meals a week, cleaning up a little after myself, and just sitting up with Noel to watch a movie.  The basics in life.  Simple pleasures.  *wide grin*

Father God, thank you for allowing me to work part-time at my job.  Thank you that I am able to consistently work Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays almost this entire month!  Thank you that I can do a little more than pure bed-rest on my days off.

 Hurray!!!

Lord, I ask for your wisdom in ramping up my activity levels.  I ask for increasing endurance to look ahead and keep moving.  I ask for the joy of abiding in you as I live day by day.  I ask for strength to continue testing my limits.  I ask for rest so I don't drop with fatigue.  I ask for the courage to keep pushing ahead.  I ask for health so I don't catch a cold.

Don't let me get lazy or complacent. Don't let me be content with what I am physically capable of doing.  Don't let me stagnate in my daily life.

Father, this life you've given me is really amazing!  Help me continue to enjoy each day.  Open my eyes to see the beauty in this life and this lifestyle.  Let me focus on you instead of myself. Give me the strength to use my weakness.  Give me the hope of seeing you in every part of my life.  Brighten my heart so that darkness has no place.  Hold me tight so I don't stray from your side.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.  

Have a great week everyone!  I wrote three different potential blog posts, but ended up going with this one because my brain isn't thinking clearly enough to edit.  Heheheeee... *sheepish grin*

Recently, I'm playing with my newly acquired silver chains and synthetic opals.  The deep sparkle of these opals reminds me that life is more than just what I can and cannot do... what's below the surface matters.  So long as I have God's Spirit shining in my life, my life will never be dull.  Yay!!!  =D

Mika's sleeping on me.... ahhhhhh, can't get up!