Much Needed Break

I know that you are my advocate.  I know you have a plan.  I know there's a purpose in me being admitted at Stanford Hospital... but Lord, I can't see what you're doing!  I know you give me glimpses.  I know you can give me rest... so Lord, give me a break please?

Take a deep breath.  Another.

Just as I'm trying to pull myself together, the nurse comes in.  Pasting a bright smile on my face, I ask, "What's up?"

"You're current pack of antibiotic is done.  I'll give you an hour break from being hooked up as I order the next packet.  It's 9:10 right now.  You have until 10.  Here's my phone's number, call me if you feel dizzy or anything happens.  I have your cell in case I need you. Enjoy!"

Yes!

Stepping outside my door, I peer right.  Nope, not a good idea.  I see doctors.  Left it is! Long hurried strides carry me quickly out of the unit.  Two more lefts and I arrive at a glass door.  Peering through, I see trees, patio furniture, and stairways down.  *drool*  Now this I like!

Scrambling outside, I stride up and down the stairs four times each way for exercise.  Done. Now if only I can find a spot to relax.

Scanning the area around me, I zone in on a small niche with just the right amount of dappled sunlight and shade.  Taking a seat, I immediately prop my legs up.  Glancing around, no one's down here.  Good.  Furtively, I take my mask off.  *wide grin*  Taking deep breaths, I let my shoulders relax.  Rolling my head back, I enjoy my surroundings.  A gentle breeze.  Sunlight sparkles off of delicate spider webs swaying to invisible air currents.  Ants march purposefully at their given tasks.  Leaves reach and sway towards the sun.  Tiny purple flowers blossom, half-hidden by larger shrubs. Vines cling to an old wooden fence.  A pair of doves stroll along brick cobbled floors.

A bit of freedom. A little peace.  Calm in my heart.  Time to resettle my soul.

Thank you God for this time to rest in your presence.  I'm supposed to go back inside now; be tied up again.  I'm dragging my feet a bit... but I feel a little more refreshed.  Thank you.  I don't know what you have planned, but I know you are my advocate and my sovereign.  For now, thank you that I can smile again.  Thank you that I can speak without a sharp edge.