Sunday, April 10, 2016

Caregiver

Thursday, March 31 , 2016


"Sorry.  We cannot accommodate your needs.  You require intensive care which will cost more."

"How about just one more night.  Please!

"That will be $40 an hour at night."

"We can't afford that on our budget!"

"Our company will pro-rate our services and return the unused portion.  Thank you for your time."

Ahhhhh.... God what do we do?  My body is acting up with super wet fecal incontinence less than every 5 minutes! You touch me and my body pours out gross wetness.  Pain.  Acid stinging.  My anus is raw from being wiped.  My body spasms with constant discomfort. Why Lord!  Help!  I need you!  I need someone to turn me when I can't move!  I got labeled too high maintenance... What am I supposed to do?  This is not the body I choose, but you gave it to me.... now please provide in how to live in it!  My family is amazing catering to me literally day and night on a rotation of two ppl at all times, but they are all burnt out and tired.  Each has their own life as well and Noel starts work next week!  In Jesus' name I beg for help, amen!

Half hour later while wallowing in despair, a phone call comes through for Noel.  "Noel, I kept an eye out for someone who I believe may meet your needs for a caregigiver at night. She is really good."

"When can we meet her?"

"I can bring her in half-an-hour.  That okay?"

Instant click.  Ate Nora is tall, capable, hard-working, compassionate.  Thank you, God!  "Can she start tonight?"

"She is willing to start tomorrow night."

Can't force anything.  "Okay. See you tomorrow.  Thank you!"

That night, my body poured fecal matter every 3-5 minutes the entire night!  My brother, Chris, and family friend, Josh, spent the entire night stuffing paper towels to catch the copious fecal material literally pouring out my body.  So gross!  Where I'd all this come from?  I don't even eat or drink this much!  I cry and groan to no avail.  My incontinence does't stop until the next midday.  I'm so happy Ate Nora didn't start last night!  This body is enough to scare anyone off!  Me included!

For a couple days, Ate Nora, my nighttime caregiver cleans me.  She carried me to the toilet.  Pets my hair when I groan in pain. Reassures me everything is okay.  Stays up with me the entire night cleaning.  Hugging me.  Comforting me.  She constantly massages my numb legs without me begging.  She makes me laugh my putting a smiley cold compress on my forehead. She stretches and encourages exercise.  She kisses me gently when I want to cry.  Most important, she prays for me!  Th joy she exudes is special.  I stink.  I poop all the time.  And yet, she still speaks to me patiently with a beautiful smile all night without sleep.

As soon as I eat or move, I poop.  Ate Nora keeps saying, "don't worry, I'll clean you up."  No guilt. No pressure.  Lots of acceptance.  Frequently, I require cleaning again and again and again within seconds of already being cleaned!  So embarrassing!

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for providing a beautiful person willing to be by my side.  She shows me a piece of your unconditional love.  Now that Noel is going to start work, you've provide an angel to take care of me on a live-in basis so that my family and friends don't burn out anymore. Thank you, Jesus, for your amazing timing and constant provision whether I cry in distress or whimper in pain, stink, or squirm with itchiness.  I can't move.  I don't know why you woke me up so boney, helpless, weak... but you did.  I still live to serve you, Jesus.  Heal me!  I may be only 80 pounds of skin and bones, but you created me.  Give me purpose!

In Jesus' name I beg, amen.

Ate Nora making me smile:

6 comments:

  1. What wonderful angels God has around you, Kristy :)
    Love you for you and praying for God's grace!! You're secretly my role model.. but I guess it's not so secret anymore ;)

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  2. God bless you Kristy & Ate Nora!

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  3. Kristy, you are such a great example of courage and enduring to the end. I know that God is aware of you and loves you very much; you are a daughter of God and rich blessings will be in store for you for enduring your trials so well. When your time comes what a sweet reunion you will have with friends and family that have gone before you. Thank you for your example of faith in God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Hugs to you, Kathy Wardell

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  4. you're amazing and beautiful!

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  5. God bless you ate kristy! never loose hope!

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Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment! *big hugs* --Kristy