Second Round of Chemo!

Yesterday, this is what I prayed:

Father, I want to feel really really good today! I have two friends from work who are willing to hang-out with me and my sister is coming too! I don't want to feel bad or nauseous or drowsy. Instead, I really want to be able to enjoy their company and play games!!! =D

Then at night, we have our monthly South Bay dinner and games. Lord, Noel and I kept debating about whether or not to switch to a different Wednesday, but each time we ask you... there's no feeling of urgency or need to change dates. So Father in Heaven, we will trust that you will provide for my health and that you will continue to be present in the dinner and games tonight... to create a night of fellowship, fun-filled laughter, enough food, and that my health will not become an issue.

In Jesus name I pray, amen!

So on Wednesday, Janurary 25... I felt great the whole day!!! Thank God! I got jabbed 3 times as the nurses attempted to place my chemo port in and take my lab draws... but after that, everything went really smooth. I saw the doctor for an update, made a whole schedule full of appointments every other week, and then went off to the infusion center for my chemotherapy.

At the infusion center, time just flew by! Four of us played Blockus (an awesomely fun game *smirk*). Before I knew it... I was getting my infusion of meds with no problems!!! Didn't take the Benedryl this time and wasn't sleepy at all. *wide grin*

Bonus, because the IV port was placed in a large vein this visit, my arm didn't hurt when I got infused with the Gemcitabine! Hurray!!! Last time... my arm hurt like crazy! Praise the Lord!!!

Then at night... God blessed us so that my sister drove me home by 7pm, Noel cooked a yummy dinner (no left-overs, but just enough for 14 people), we played multiple crazy games of Nerts (group speed solitaire in competition format) with lots of yelling and distractions, all the dishes got cleaned and tables wiped... perfect! I just wish I had more time to spend with people one-on-one, but I did have some time to talk in-depth with a couple people... that's what I love about hosting these monthly nights... I never know what cool discussions God will produce or what little tidbit more of someone I get to learn about... these are some things that drive me... that keep me going... that fill me with joy.

I love sharing how awesome God is in my life because this is where my hope and my joy come from. Without God and how God's grown me, stretched me, over the years... I definitely wouldn't be the person you know today. Right now, even with the cancer and a huge unknown future... I feel so alive and blessed and loved... truely living life is so much more worth it than just "getting by."

Today... I almost forgot to give myself the Neulasta injection! *smirk* Almost $5000 in this one little syringe... yikes!

While typing the first half of this blog... I grabbed the Neulasta from the fridge and warmed it in my left hand. Tentitively, I pull off the cover and stare at this one-inch long needle... very shiney! Okay... where do I want to inject this? Last time was in my right arm... ummmmmmm... well, I'm getting a massage tonight with another friend from work (Yay!!!) and the arm tends to get massaged more than the stomach or front thighs. Okay, I'll go for my left arm!

Let's copy what the nurse did... but first, I just wanna see how sharp this thing feels. I lightly tap the needle against my skin... okay, that'll hurt. I quickly rough-up my skin a bit to desensitize the area, push my chubby triceps area against the chair's backrest while using my right thumb to help pinch the fat (grrrrrr.... I need to work out my arms again). Here I go, slide the needle in (no problem... it's just kinda long) with no pain when I just go slow after the needle pierces the skin. Next step, just inject right? Oops! To fast actually hurts! No wonder the lady injected the med super slow last-time... okay, I take like 30 seconds to inject this tiny little bit of liquid... YAY!!! Complete! Mission accomplished!

My left arm is now starting to ache. Bummer... I forgot to pray about the side effects of this med! I prayed super hard for God to alleviate the the side effects of the chemo this visit... and forgot that the Neulasta can also cause it's own batch of issues. *tsk tsk* You'd think I'd remember to pray for everything by now! Guess it's times like these that I can see how God works miracles. When I pray and when I don't... I definitely notice a difference in my attitude, my approach to dealing with issues, the outcome. *smirk* Well, this is one of the ways I know over and over again how real God is in my life... over and over I see my Father in Heaven works when I pray... it's an awesome feeling that someone so powerful loves me enough to care about how I feel and what I need... then surprises me by providing better. Cool huh?

Lord, thank you for the reminders of your personal presence in my life. Thank you that you've invested so much time into my selfish requests and that you provide better than I can ask for. Thank you, Father, for growing my relationship with you over the years to the point that I can no longer deny that you are my Lord God who loves me beyond my capabilities of imagination. Thank you for sending your only son, Jesus Christ, to die and be raised again so that I can have this intimate relationship with you. Thank you, Lord, that you are a personal God and not just a religion or untouchable selfish being who plays with my life just for fun. Thank you Lord, that your intentions are always to grow me closer to you, not to torture me, but because you love me more than I love myself.

In Jesus' holy name I praise my Father in Heaven for all the blessings, for my joy, and for this one life I have to live, amen.