Chemo Session 4... or NOT! =D

This blog site changed it's format! I'm kinda scared to write a blog because I lost my prior post and had to have Noel send me his copy that he received in an email! Then I had this post outlined and saved... but each time I open the draft on my iPad... everything but the title is blank and I have to start from the very beginning! *shiver* No room for error!

Well... this self-erasing blog site will keep my blog posts shorter until I figure out how to navagate around the new issues... or I'll have to write my whole blog in some other document and then transfer it. *sigh* This just means I can't be lazy anymore! Makes me also realize that if this blog site goes down... all my writing disappears! I don't have any of this stuff backed up... hmmm... Maybe I should actually take the time to copy everything? Bummer... I'm lazy! My own laptop doesn't work... so that means I'll have to borrow Noel's computer... someday... *wide grin* I like to procrastinate! Heheheeee...

Anyways... my chemo side effects have been building up... my hands and feet are partially numb, my tongue is also partially numb, my body has problems voiding the fluid I drink, my muscles constantly feel weak and I get a burning sensation just walking up the stairs or carrying stuff in my arms.

My accupuncturist told me that my chemo regime was too strong for my body and that I should ask the doctors to tone down my treatment. On my end... I totally agree... but I didn't want to dictate to the doctors their job because I don't know what I need or what effects I should tolerate. Plus, God allowed this cancer for a reason... and I don't know what experiences God wants me to go through... I don't want to fight and struggle and stress about my chemotherapy treatment if I don't have to... so I prayed... very hard that God would guide the doctors to both truly hear the extent and severity of my body's symptoms and to have wisdom in how they chose to continue my chemotherapy.

This past Wednesday, my doctor told me that becuase of the numbness in my hands and feet, she'll withhold chemo until after my CT scan on March 2nd and make her decision during our next appointment on March 7th. She told me that my numbness has a potential to be permanent, but that the goal isn't to damage my body so that I can't work anymore in an attempt to stop my cancer from progressing.

Yay!!! Regardless of what happens... I get two week extra break!!! Hurray! I am so excited!!! So far, it's about 18 days after my last chemo treatment, my fingers and toes are still numb, my muscles sore, and my endurance almost non-existant... but I'm not fighting nausea and I'm already planning to go play paintball! =D

Lord Father, thank you for this additional 2-week break from chemo. Thank you for the opportunity to play paintball! Thank you for allowing my body time to recover after struggling against the meds dumped into my system.

Lord God, please continue to guide the doctors in the treatment you want them to provide. Give me the strength to handle the chemo's onslaught. I lift my treatment, my life, and my future into your very capable hands. Thank you that I don't have to stress about self-directing my own treatment or fighting with the doctors about what I feel I should get or that they should provide. Lord, I chose to give you my everything when I rededicated my life to you... help me to carry out my promise and serve you with a joyful heart... to see your blessings and your love... to grow in courage and strength... to become more than I am by myself.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.