Freedom for 3 months!

Today, March 7, 2012, is another potential chemo day.  =S

If I do chemotherapy today, I need to take dexamethasone this morning (a steroid medicine to prevent an allergic reaction).  Well... God, you know if I'll have a chemo session today.  If God wants me to take the dexamethasone, then I'll see the bottle of meds before leaving work... I hid the meds in maybe three places.  Bathroom... not there.  Kitchen table... not there.  Maybe the desk by the bed?  Ahhhh.... running late to work, no time to check so I guess I'm not going to take the meds this morning!  *smirk* Heheheeee....

At work this morning... the pacing felt a little weird.  Many patients either showed super early (by an hour or TWO), didn't show up for their appointments at all, or came late resulting in a lot of switching around between therapists.  *wide grin* I'm so happy God provided a work place where we all work so well together!  One therapist saw an early arriving patient, another covered for a late arriving patient... mind-boggling when I reviewed today's actual schedule... my friends at work put up with me asking them to change their scheduled patients all morning long.  *sheepish grin* 

At noon, I ran home, met my sister and husband, grabbed a quick lunch, and drove to Stanford.  Turns out that I went late for my blood draw.  I thought I was supposed to get my blood drawn at 1:40... turns out that I was supposed to get the blood drawn at 1pm.  Oops! *cringe*

Met with my doctors at 2pm with my blood work results not complete yet.  Hmmmm... my fault. *waving raised hand* Reviewed my symptoms and received answers regarding the expected duration of each one:

-Yellow nails, can get worse, even slightly green in color.  Ewwwww... then it'll just have to grow out.
-Neuropathy, hopefully will improve, but may be permanent. Currently slightly numb and achy in my fingers/toes with decrease in sensation also in my hands, feet, and R thigh.  =(
-Hot flashes, pseudo-menopause while my hormones are out of wack, will last about 2-3 months... yay for hot flashes.  Last Friday I counted 25 hot flashes where I felt super hot and sweaty at random times in a 24-hour period.  Icky!
-Fluid retention, likely to last another 2 months... can't wait to be normal again!  Then I won't have to wake up every 1-2 hours at night to go pee while my body slowly voids the excess fluid.  I'm sooooo tired.  If I have time, I lay on my back with my hand and feet in the air like a dead bug so gravity can assist with clearing the excess fluid stored in my extremities (when I do this for an hour or two, I can sleep the whole night through).

Due to the symptoms, especially with the neuropathy that can impact my job as a physical therapist, the doctor decided to withhold chemotherapy for 3 months.  In 3 months, I will get another CT scan and the doctor will decide what to do from there.  YAY!!!

After leaving the doctor's office, I get a call from my Stanford doctor saying that she just received my blood work results... I'm anemic with a hemoglobin count of 7.6 (that's pretty low, normal is 12-14 for females I think).  So next week, I'll get my blood tested again.  If my hemoglobin count goes any lower, my doctor suggests a transfusion... but said that I looked great today.  *wide grin* Hurray!!!  No transfusion! 

Thank you, Father God, for providing a sunny day, no chemotherapy, a doctor who really listens and takes into account my needs/wants, and no blood transfusion.  Thank you, Lord, that even while I'm anemic, I still have the ability to play paintball, complete a modified Beach Body Insanity workout, and walk up the stairs with less shortness of breath!  Thank you that I get 3 months of no more needles stuck into my arm... each needle-stick was getting progressively more painful (body probably getting sensitized?).

Lord, I would like the side effects from chemotherapy to fully disappear, but if that doesn't happen, help me to modify my lifestyle in order to cope with my body's changes.  Give me the strength to work around my physical deficits.  Continue to guide my eyes and thoughts to see the benefits and blessing in my life regardless of any potential handicaps.

Lord God in heaven... there's a swirl of unclear thoughts and wants in my head and my heart... you know them better than I do.  Help me to face my future, enjoy the present, and be at peace while Noel continues to look for a job.

In Jesus' holy name I pray, amen.

Thanks for reading!!! *big hugs*