Why be Christ-like?

Friday, May 25, 2012

My friend, Stephen, asked me a very good question.  I really wanted to post the contents on this blog, so I got his permission to share!  Hurray!!!!  Thanks Stephen!  =D

Here's part of what he asked:

"One thing in the blog that make me think a bit longer.  You said "Am I being Christ-like?"  As you know, I'm not religious at all but this statement made me wonder.  If I was religious, is the goal to be like Christ?  Isn't it a bit hard to achieve being Christ-like?  Just some thoughts because no matter what people believe, I am interested in how people live."

This is my response:

 In regards to your question... super good question.  I had to stop and really think about it.  =D  I'll try my best to answer, but feel free to ask more questions okies? 

I'll start first with what I can easily answer and go from there.  Yes, you're totally right, it's super hard to achieve being Christ-like... in fact, it's totally impossible because the Jesus Christ I believe in is both God and born human, perfect with no faults or mistakes, judgement and action always right... but it's still something I strive towards... not the perfection, but Jesus' relationship (when he was on earth) with God the Father.

Being religious, the goal may not be to become more like Christ... for me, being a Christian is a belief, one not based necessarily on rules, but on my heart and relationship with God.  From my point of view, the rules are there as guidelines to help... but God's main intention, according to the Bible, is to have a personal relationship with me.  Out of my relationship with God comes my heart to love others, intention of wanting to be closer to God (in which case, obeying rules can help me from straying further away from God... doesn't in and of itself get me any closer to God). 

I see following God and Jesus as me being like a little kid who has a parent who loves me very much and wants the best for me.  Wanting to please my parent comes from my heart, wanting to emulate him and use him as a role model.  The rules like "don't touch the fire because it'll burn you" is how I take the rules found in the Bible.  I have a choice in what and how I do things, but at the same time, my choices will affect my attitude and my relationship with my parent (in this case God).

As a Christian (means "of Christ" with the connotation of "follower of Christ" ... something like that)... you'll see many ppl's definition and personal take on what it means to be a Christian.  Some follow rules, some don't.  Some know all about the Bible, some act all perfect... etc.  That's not the type of Christian i want to be.  Ummmm... from studying the Bible and learning to take it in context (a LOT of stuff is quoted out of context... didn't know this until I really started studying the Bible and not just reading it), I learned that this God I follow is one who wants a personal relationship with me.. who created me just as I am as a masterpiece being formed, that "sin" means to be "apart from God" not just about doing "bad" things... and that like a congenital disease, I'm born with this natural separation from God... I find that the more I know about Christ/God, the more I want to emulate him.  This doesn't mean things will go smoothly or well... in fact, usually means more challenges.  But the choices I make (when I make them) to attempt to follow Christ... I find more fulfilling and joy-filled and peaceful even in times of heartache and turmoil than when I choose to do things my own way... I actually find that doing things my own way usually leads to more struggles and pain.

For example... using the "don't touch the fire example,"  if I intentionally touch the fire and get burned... I'll cry, throw up a fuss, want to blame others, make those around me miserable and irritable so that they can share in my pain, etc... that's how i tend to act.  Not very pleasant, but a part of myself I know and see in many different situations.  So through testing limits, observing myself in many situations... when i take the time, I have a pretty good idea how I act... and I don't like that part of myself... the selfishness, the hurting myself/others, the loneliness, being lost...

Then there are times when I want to learn more about God through the life of Jesus on earth... to be as close to God as possible by emulating Christ or what I think he would do/act in my situation... these times feel different... living more like Christ gives me a sense of peace, a knowledge that with God's help and not my own faltering power, anything can be possible, a sense of purpose and hope.  And I've seen God act in my life in ways that are undeniable... not by mere chance... unexplainable.  and I feel that if I continue to seek this God and get to know him better, there's no way he'll hide himself from me... especially not if the entire basis of my relationship with God the Father and Jesus Christ is based on love, not rules or manipulation... can't get too far wrong there... I hope?  *wide grin*  The whole "going to heaven when I die" thing... that doesn't mean I get whatever I want in heaven (what's money and stuff really worth to me in the long run anyways?)... beats me exactly what I get except that I get to be in God's presence... to have that perfect relationship with this awesomely loving God without imperfection in that relationship between him and me.  That's my goal-in-progress... to please my Father God in what I do, say, act by copying the clearest example i have... Jesus Christ.

I see the Bible as a storybook of God's love as a father and creator, a book about redemption and salvation... not just one about rules or death... but a book to give hope, provide advice and guidelines...a diary written by God the Father for his children so that I can get to know him better.  

Jesus is my role model.  My personal goal is to get closer in this relationship I have with God; which in turn, changes me to become more Christ-like (John 15:9-11)
  

Have a great weekend everyone!!!  I'm off to the youth Bigfoot retreat!!!  Pray for us!

Love,

K

Struggling with pride

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Today's sermon at church really resonated deep inside of me.  In the current Sunday series, "Accelerate," Pastor Josh talked about pride in the passage of Acts 12.  (If you're interested, you can listen to the sermon... once it's posted  -->  here.) 

What is pride?  Pride is an elevated option of oneself and gives off a negative impression.  Pride is synonymous with vanity, conceit, egotism, arrogant assumption of superiority.  Is pride really all that horrible?  There's that saying, "Pride comes before a fall."  Hmmmmm... self-inflation of my own capabilities, superiority in my thoughts and actions that belittle another person... that really doesn't sound like a good thing!

To put myself above someone else, to see someone just as a tool to complete my personal objective, to think that I know better ... I did that to Noel this past week.  *embarrassed look* Here's what happened:

Friday, May 18, 2012... Big project day!!!  =D

Goal: finish grinding the rough surface of the flagstone/concrete backyard project to create a flat surface and expose the small pebbles imbedded in the colored concrete. 

Noel's job: go to dermatology, exercise at the gym, then come help me, Kristy, with the backyard. 

Kristy's job: go rent the concrete grinder machine and prep the backyard (clear the flagstone/concrete surface of scattered shovels, wheelbarrow, and random flagstone pieces I never put away).  *sheepish look*

I got the concrete grinder... this big heavy piece of machinery that likely weighed more than Noel!  Two guys at the rental place put the machine into the trunk of my car.  I still remember another guy on the sidelines, laughing so hard that his face turned red and he couldn't stand up straight.  *puzzled look*  What's he laughing at???  *disgruntled look*  Well, I'd soon find out!

Returning home, I couldn't budge the concrete grinder... not even an inch!  Ah well... Noel can help me take it out later.  I finish prepping the project area.  Okay... Where's Noel?  Without him, I can't start the project!  If only he'd be home to help me lift out the machine... then he could go work out and I can start grinding away at the uneven places in the backyard.  Plus, if I can return the concrete grinder in 2 hours... I'll save money on the rental fee!  *smirk*  Ohhhh, am I was sooooo wrong!

When Noel finally got home... only an hour was left on the rental clock!  Hurry hurry HURRY!!!  I rush Noel, barely allow him to gobble down a snack bar and change clothes... let's get the machine out NOW! 

So heavy... together, we could barely take the concrete grinder out of the car's trunk!  Noel drags the machine into our backyard while I'm ragging on him to hurry up.  Finally, he snaps back and tells me that he's not going to rush this project... that if this takes more than an hour or two, he will do it properly.  Chastised, I take a closer look at myself.  I'm treating Noel like a servant, I'm more concerned about the money, and I am pridefully assuming that I can complete this project by myself if I just had someone to help take the grinder out of the car.

So wrong!  My attitude is skewed, intentions are more focused on the project than on my husband's willingness to help, I'm totally not appreciative... but so much of my focus is on money and efficiency.  Am I being Christ-like?  Totally not!  In the Bible, Jesus always put people and their needs above doing a task or job.  I totally fail... my pride slipped in and got the best of me.  *sigh*

Once I appologized and reset my attitude, Noel and I got started.  Water hose hooked onto the machine.  Done.  Machine plugged in.  Done.  Switch flipped to "ON."  Done.  Okay, time for me to pull the cable and start the gas-powered engine... Noel will control the machine first.  Before either of us could react, Noel was shoved backwards, hit the fence, and nearly got squashed between the fence and this high-powered concrete grinder.  *scared*  This machine is totally powerful and way easily out of my ability to control!

The next 2-3 hours:  Noel fought to control the concrete grinder as it frequently tried to run away.  Occasionally, Noel and the machine would nearly slam into the house, fence, or flip sideways.  What did I do?  Only thing I could do... hold the water hose so Noel wouldn't trip, guard Noel so that when he slid or almost fell, I could assist to halt his momentum... but most importantly, I prayed... I prayed really really hard!  I prayed for Noel's safety, I prayed for Noel to stay strong and have wisdom in managing this machine, I prayed that Noel wouldn't get injured and the house/windows/fence wouldn't break when Noel lost control, I prayed that we wouldn't break this crazy-powerful machine, I prayed that I would have wisdom in how to assist my husband... During those 2-3 hours, I never stopped praying as God answered each of my desperate prayers!

In the end... God stopped our project before the backyard was complete.  Boy was I ever so grateful!  Noel was getting tired, the machine kicked out of control more frequently, and why was there more sparks flying up?  Checking the machine... wow... we wore out the grinding plate so far that even one of the bolts got sheered off.  *shock*  In one day, a brand new grinding plate got worn completely through!  Yikes!

Father in heaven, you truly have everything in hand.  You protected Noel from injury, you protected our property from getting broken, and Lord, even the machine's wear was not counted as our fault.  In fact, Father God, you provided the rental fee at half the price, the opportunity to rent the concrete grinder another day also at half price, and provided an extra day to finish this backyard project when Noel is refreshed!

Lord, forgive me my pride, my tendency towards effeciency, my vanity in wanting to save money at all cost.  Forgive my arrogance in wanting to use Noel as a tool, insisting that my way is the only way and is the best option instead of treasuring my husband as a person.

Thank you Lord, for providing a loving husband who is willing to put up with my faults, able to call me on my mistakes, willing to wait as I struggle for humility, and always present to support me in my crazy home projects.  *wide grin*  Thank you Lord God, for teaching me that I can't do everything by myself.  Thank you that Noel handled the concrete grinder... I probably would be flat on the ground with something broken if I took lead like I had imagined.  *smirk*  Lord, thank you for providing such that the 2 days of rental will be cheaper than even a full-day's rental due to the use of a coupon.  Thank you that we didn't break the concrete grinder, but since the machine needs to be fixed... Noel and I get to rest, recover, and then still complete the backyard project another day.

Truly, Lord God, your provisions and effeciency is way beyond anything I could accomplish in my own power and planning.  Thank you, Lord, that I find more joy in doing things your way and being able to work side-by-side with Noel than if I charged ahead and took everything into my own hands.  The process of being humbled sucks, it hurts to realize my mistakes, but at the same time, a relief to know I am only allowed to fall so far before you stop me and turn me around.

Lord, my pride trips me up over and over again... unknowningly, pride creaps up on me and I start to act all high and mightly when I really don't have a reason to.  Father God, open up my eyes so I can continue to find more of my pride issues/triggers, change my heart to love people more than completion of a task or efficiency or optimum money management... thank you, Lord, for loving me so much that you help me out of my stubborn mistakes... and yet, take the time to teach and train me to depend on you... Thank you that I get to experience an even greater joy and satisfaction in my times of humility than when I take things into my own hands.

I ask, Lord, that you continue to change my heart to be more like Jesus Christ... to love and to care for each individual person more than any project, job, or task. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Bigfoot is coming!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Sorry this post is late everyone!  Yesterday, I totally forgot that anything related to blogs even exist.  *sheepish grin*

Just finished discussing games with a fellow counselor in planning Bigfoot games created by our student leaders.  *smirk*  Makes me realize how spoiled I am!  This year, I'm not in charge of the games, set-up, organizations, snacks, registration, etc... *happy*  The only things I'm supposed to take care of is the medical preparations (meds and bandages) as well as ordering the Bigfoot T-shirts... basically all done!!!  YAY!!!


Heavenly Father, I ask that you prepare our hearts for Bigfoot.  Lord, I ask that you tie up the loose ends and help us counselors and youth leaders and all participates finish our tasks.  May nothing be forgotten, may no one be left behind.  As people are really busy and some now getting sick, Father, I ask that you help each person going to Bigfoot so that they won't need to stress out.  Father, please make this planning and preparation process a fun challenge for the student leaders... something that will build them up and not knock them down.

Working in a team means trusting my team to do their part... I can't handle the whole event by myself and I don't want to!  At the same time... as details are handled by others, I get nervous... what happens if something goes wrong?  Something gets forgotten?  Something doesn't work?  How about if someone gets hurt?  *shudder*  Then I remember... when things go wrong, that's when I see you, God, most clearly.  *wide grin*

Having glitches in the Bigfoot program is going to happen... and Lord, you care more about my heart than any task I perform and how I perform it.  Looking back in my life, Lord, I see some of your best and most precious blessings when things in my life go very wrong. *smirk*  (You'd think I'd remember that already!)  So instead of praying for the perfect Bigfoot event or lack of injuries, Lord, I ask that my heart to serve you and to serve others is in the right place.  Help me to serve, but not to take on more than you call me to. 

Thank you, Father, for the peace in following you!

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

Here's a verse we went over in Footprints this Friday night that really struck a cord in me while preparing for Bigfoot:

1 John 5:3
For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments.  And his commandments are not burdensome.

Logistics with Bigfoot

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I'm so tired!!!  Our youth minister was away this weekend and I unofficially took up the task of reminding our youth that their registration forms, payment, and shirt orders were all due today.  Fielding questions regarding additional friends of youth coming last minute to the annual Bigfoot retreat... did I remember to note them all down?  *dizzy head spinning*

Due to new elements in this year's Bigfoot event... there are a lot of unaccounted-for items or issues.  Likely won't happen again, but definitely a learning experience.  *wide grin*  That's life right?  *wink*

This year's official Bigfoot deadline was supposed to be May 13th... but I need the head count to order T-shirts so the deadline got moved up to this week.  *sigh*  At this point... even if I forget something, I'm at the point where I couldn't care if I didn't order enough shirts... at least that's what I'd like to tell myself. 

In truth, I really do care.   I want each youth to have the chance to come to Bigfoot, to be able to experience the crazy outdoor fun, and to get to know God in a different setting.  I want every youth going to feel wanted and cared for.  I want to make sure that each person who goes can have a shirt so he or she won't feel left out... but at the same time, I want to be responsible in handling some of the finances and don't want to over-order.  *deep sigh*  I can't read the future...

I want, I want, I want... what does God want for this event?  Who does God want to go?  How does God want each youth to get there?  I don't know the future, but this God I believe in does. 

Regarding all this logistical stuff...  This event isn't supposed to be in my hands alone... in fact, this is God's event... so why am I trying to take over?  Nothing good will occur if I place responsibilities on myself that aren't supposed to be there!  I'll just have to depend on God to make sure each youth has an appropriately sized shirt, that finances aren't over-spent, that provisions for transportation and preparations of the heart are in his care.  Not my duty.  *relaxed sigh*  How'd this prideful attitude that I need to handle Bigfoot slip in anyways?  Grrrrrr... I know God made me capable of handling a lot of different situations... but that doesn't mean I'm supposed to take on these situations.  Silly me.  =D

This is part of what it means when I follow God... when I want to do work for him... I don't have to worry because I believe that everything will be taken care of.  The part I take in planning the logistics of this Bigfoot event will ease the management issues for other counselors and our youth minister, but nothing's impossible in God's hands... I just have to do the best I can, but don't need to worry if I mess up.  Since I'm depending on God for this event, I'll just add to that dependence and have God make sure I order enough shirts and that we don't forget any kids.  *wide grin*

What still needs to be done?  The youth need to be organized into small groups... this set-up usually includes a female and male counselor and anywhere from 3-8 youth.  There's also the game groups to set-up, organization for the snacks and post-food clean-up.  *wide grin*  All this gets taken care of in time... happily, not my duty.  =D

Lord Father in heaven, I do believe that you really are all-powerful, all-knowledgeable... capable of handling everything and anything!  Thank you for the opportunity to vent and reorganize my thoughts using this blog post.  Thank you, Father, for the reminder that you are Lord over my life and over this Bigfoot event.  No matter how crazy everything feels, Lord, I thank you that nothing truly important will be missed!

Lord, I ask that you handle the rest of this Bigfoot event.  By trusting in you, God, I know that the pressure of getting every detail correct is now in your more-than-capable hands.  What relief to know that I'm not in charge and that I don't need to be.  Thank you, Lord, for making me capable of managing a large and complex event... but thanks even more that I don't have to!

Father God, I give into your hands Bigfoot (not that you didn't already have it... but that I can personally let go).  Lord, I ask that you prepare the hearts and situations of everyone you've called to go.  I ask that whomever you want at Bigfoot, will be able and willing to be there. 

As the first aide person present at Bigfoot, I ask for wisdom in what bandages to bring, which allergy meds to bring and give out, wisdom in managing crazy bug-bites or injuries.  But even more than that, I ask you for the heart to serve these youth... to love them, to listen to them, to really hear them, and to have enough time to spend with each one as you've called... may no youth get ignored, be left-out, or feel unheard.  Soften my heart to do your will in your way and not my own.  Give me, all the youth, all the counselors and the speaker a wonderful weekend together where we can see you reflected in each other. 

Thank you, Father, for taking away the burden I placed on myself.

In the name of your son, Jesus Christ, I pray and thank you, Father God, for being present in all the circumstances surrounding this Bigfoot event, amen.