Doctor Appointment

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Father God, I'm going to see my oncologist today.  I know that the usual timeline for check-ups is every 3 months for the first year and then every 6 months for the next couple of years.  These follow ups always include tests... for me, more CT scans with contrast and blood draws.  *deep sigh*  However, Lord, I really don't want doctor appointments that often.  Can I get like a check-up every 6-8 months?  I feel lots better now and really... it feels like a waste of time to see a doctor when I'm not on any medicines, have no new problems that would require medical attention, and if my test results are all normal/clear... there's really nothing that needs to be done right? 

Please???

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

I know I've prayed many times that God will lead my doctors and guide them in the decisions that are made.  This means that I will do my best NOT to argue my personal wants and preference. Well... at least going in to my oncology appointment, I try to remind myself not to argue.  *sheepish grin*  Who knows?  Once I'm in the room with my doctor... *shrug*  God... you know me best, so I'll give this appointment into your hands.

In the room, I nervously shift in my seat and slide my feet around under the chair... waiting.  First, a nurse practitioner introduces herself, asks me a TON of questions, collects my printed test results and completes a very thorough physical exam of my nervous system (probably since I mentioned my continued neuropathy in my fingers and toes). 

Afterwards... in comes my oncologist.  At first, she lists off a bunch more tests she wants done, then states that she wants me to get my normal round of test every 3 months until I hit a year mark post-chem. 

"Do I have to???"  I plead a little bit before remembering that I'd leave the final decision up to my doctor.  *grimace* Tossing up a quick prayer for God to guide this appointment, I shut my mouth and listen to the doctor's concerns. 

"Okay, I'll make a deal with you" she says.  "Get these tests done, and if they're clear, then you can get the CT scan with contrast for your abdomen and chest done with the blood tests in 6 months.  If those tests are also clear at that point in time, I'll see you in a year."

*blink blink*  Did I hear that right?  I get a potential whole YEAR away from the doctor's office and minimized testing.  *drool*  Hurray God!!!  I still don't know what happened!  One second the doctor is adamantly insisting on having my body checked up every 3 months... then total switch around!  Praise God.  YAY!!!  I year away from the doctor's office is even better than I ever could have hoped!  *so excited*

Father in heaven, thank you so very very much for the extended periods away from tests and doctor offices.  *wide grin*  I can't wait!  Thank you for answering my prayers and closing my mouth when I wanted to argue.  *happy*  Thank you Father God for making clear that the impossible is totally possible!

In Jesus' name I praise my Father God, amen.

Here's what we bought today for this Sunday's pumpkin carving event... 34 PUMPKINS!!!

6-Month Challenge

Thursday, October 18, 2012

"I'm ready to take the challenge."

What?  Huh?

"Remember when you talked about the challenges you took to not buy clothes for a year.   And that other time when you donated clothes?  Well, ever since our conversation, I feel that God wants me to have faith in him.  A year's a really long time... but I'm willing to depend on God and not buy clothing for myself for 6 months."

Ahhhhh... yup!  When we were hanging out, I remember saying that if my friend was willing to take the step and trust God to provide clothing... that I'd take the challenge with her... whatever she felt God calling her towards.  *wide grin*

Part of me is like... okay, this is easy!  I've done this before where I didn't buy any clothing, accessories and shoes for 12 months.  Back then, I trusted in God to keep my clothes from tearing, provide me with the types of clothes I'd need in different situations and weather... as well as if I really needed anything, God would provide the item without me buying it for myself.  That last time, I found so much freedom and a significant decrease in stress in not having to provide for myself... it was amazing!  (Also saved a ton of money too!)  =D

This time... not so easy.  *sheepish grin*  I told Noel that I wouldn't ride on the back of his motorcycle unless I have an armored jacket to protect me.  I already bought a helmet and wanted to honor Noel's sense of safety by buying a jacket... just in case.  However, I didn't buy the jacket yet!  *eyes wide open*  Noooooooooooo!!!  This means that I can't ride on Noel's motorcycle for 6 months?!?!!?!!!  *deep sigh*  I really really _want_ to ride on Noel's motorcycle... in fact, the more I think about it, the more I want my own.  *smirk*

In an attempt to get around this 6 month no shopping challenge, I told my friend that we'll start the next day and I'll spend today (Sunday, October 14) to buy the motorcycle jacket.  Thinking I'm so smart... I tell God, "Father, if it's your will for me to get a jacket now, please provide one with all the requirements I like for under $100."

I search and search until midnight... no jacket that fits my prayer request.  *sniffle*  Does that mean I can't ride on Noel's motorcycle until April 16, 2013 when I can next buy a jacket?!?!?!!!  Dang... but that's a LONG time.  *smirk*  Sometimes, I think something is easy just because I've done it before... Nope, second time around is just as difficult!  Having to trust in God to know best and keep my promise is HARD when I really really WANT something NOW!  *tsk tsk*

Father God, I give you my pride, my impatience, my stubbornness!  Please give me the patience to wait on your timing and your provision for the motorcycle jacket...one that fits my shape well.  Lord, please provide a jacket that I can feel comfortable wearing and moving in, a jacket that is leather to protect me from a bad fall (if it happens), a jacket I can wear if I ever get my own motorcycle, and lastly... one that Noel approves of as "safe." 

Lord Father, I believe that when the time is right, you will provide me the perfect motorcycle jacket.  All the jackets that fit my parameters are expensive!... So Father God, I'll trust that in time, I'll be able to ride on the back of Noel's bike.  *wide grin*  But until then, Lord, I give you the stewardship of my money, my time, my clothes, my life.  It's easy to "give up" stuff that I don't want or care about... but when I really want something, it's hard to let go... so Father, I ask that you continue to speak to me your truth, your love, your faithfulness.  Father of all creation, may this challenge bring you glory and honor as my friend and I learn to be better stewards of what you've given us.

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

A Day on the Water

Monday, October 8, 2012... the night before:

I want tomorrow to be perfect!  Karen and I planned our first one-on-one hangout together... *so excited*  We're going to go kayaking, sit our butts in an inch or two of sea water and stare at sea mammals.  *drool*  I so can't wait!

Worried, I checked the weather report for Monterey, California.  Low of 50 degrees F and high of 65 degrees at 1pm.  *shiver*  That sounds _cold_ for going on the water!

Lord God... I'm not quite sure what to ask for except that you bless my time together with Karen!  I want us both to have fun, see things we've never seen before, experience stuff for the first time, enjoy the weather... Lord, especially the weather!  These sea kayaks always soak my butt and water drips into my lap... Father, I really wanna have fun with Karen, but after just getting back from Hawaii... it's COLD here!  A wet butt, exposed feet, brisk breeze and overcast weather are gonna make me (and Karen) miserable... God HELP!!!  I wanna have a day of fun, not misery... please???

In Jesus' name I pray, amen.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012... Today:

Rolling over, I smack my phone alarm.  Silence... *sigh*  I so don't wanna wake up.  Spent last night reading a new book until 4:30am.  *sheepish grin*  NOT a good idea... especially since today's my day with Karen and I've gotta wake UP.

Slumping forward, I rub my eyes and stare outside... is that the sun?  Quickly, I grab my phone to check the weather forecast for Monterey.  I know the weather's supposed to get colder and colder with more clouds... maybe even rain.  *grimace*  Flipping through my phone to the Monterey weather... high temperature of 68 degrees.  Better, but still so cold!

Driving into Monterey, I stare in wonder.... the sun's out!  Usually, the sun's NEVER out in the morning!  God even provided a free 2 hour parking spot!  Stepping out of my car, I'm in total shock.  Is this really Monterey?  The sun's out, no dense fog cover, my legs in shorts aren't even cold... in fact, I take one of my extra long-sleeved shirts off... too warm. 

In shock, we rent two kayaks.  Even pushing out onto the sea... there were like no waves!  The water surface is glassy smooth.  The ocean barely even laps onto the sand at the beach.  The breeze isn't even enough to stir my hair!  Is this a dream?  Karen and I paddle through some kelp and immediately see sea otters... eating, grooming, sleeping.  *wide grin*  This is awesome!  Throughout that morning, we watch sea lions (or seals... not sure which) leap out of the the water eating fish, birds rushing in to feast on the left-overs, churning waters.  Further on, we see a mother otter groom her baby otter and wrap him in kelp.  A seal (?) chases my kayak only about 2 inches away!  Another seal or sea lion swims up and down near Karen's kayak.  Under us, the water continues to reflect the sky... other places, so clear I can see the ocean floor!

Oh Father in heaven... you are truly holy, awesome, mighty... wonderful beyond belief!  Today was so warm, so perfect!  Not once did I shiver with cold.  Not once did I have a difficult time finding free parking and moving my car before the two hour time limit was up.  You provided Karen and I a wonderful lunch by the ocean, a beautiful view into impossibly clear still waters, the time to share stories of your works in our life... peace, quiet beauty, heaven on earth.

Thank you, Lord God for again providing even better and more than I can ever think to ask.  Thank you for providing the biggest to the littlest things so that Karen and I could fully enjoy our time together.  Thank you, Lord, for this impossibly magical day!

Lord, may your very name continue to be praised!  In Jesus' name I praise my Father God, amen.

Preparing to go kayaking.

Out on the water!

See how calm the water was?  Told ya!

Mother otter and baby otter on the right.

seal or sea lion?

Lunch with a beautiful friend and impossibly clear water.

Our last run.  =D

Kauai

Saturday, September 30, 2012  (sorry folks... typed this and forgot to post it!)

Standing outside, I stare in wonder at a full moon.  Funny, I see a full moon every month, but how often do I really look around me?  In awe, I stand outside on the lanai (outdoor balcony), gazing in wonder at a world blanketed in soft silver.  To my right, waves crash over and over and over.  White foam sprays and dark waters gleam.  Below me, the earth is dark, moist with rain.  Above me, soft clouds drift by, obscuring stars.  Gently, the sea breeze flows by, pushing leaves to flutter past.  Soon, holes open in the dense cloud layer allowing stars to shine through as bright pinpoints of light.

Sudden shower, waters pour.  

Playful wind with dancing leaves. 

Peace

Calm

Quiet.  

In the short time I stand to stare at the alien world around me, the sky lightens.  Soon, the silver clouds glow pink with edges of vibrant orange.  A wave of warmth spills over me as the rising sun climbs through the cloudy sky.  Brighter and brighter shines the sun, new light and shadows surround me.  A rooster crows once then twice.  Birds start chirping little calls, then louder and louder more sounds gather.  From my right, a cool sea breeze stirs the humid air.  I watch crashing waves churn and foam, turn from silver gray to a crystal green-blue tipped in white.  More and more birds raucously appear with fluttering of wings to now swaying branches… stretching, preening and feeding.  Startled, I look down, no longer is the earth a monochrome dark, but now filled with rich reds and varied greens.

Thank you, Father God, for giving me eyes to see, skin to feel, and ears to hear.  As I watch the crashing waves, rolling clouds, swaying trees and soaring birds… no two moments are ever the same.  Thank you, Lord, for the wonders of this earth.  Thank you, Lord, for the beauty and intricate details of your creation.  Thank you, Lord, that I am given this opportunity to experience this constantly evolving world at this very time, in this very place.  Thank you for renewing my spirit in your presence.  Thank you for giving me peace as I spend this time and this day with you.

Lord God, I ask that today, tomorrow, for the duration of my life… open my eyes to see you, teach me to glorify you.  Father, creator of heaven and earth, I want more of you in my life.  I want to walk where you lead, I want to serve as you call, I want to live this life pleasing you more than myself.  Lord, take my selfishness, my pride, my stubbornness and redeem my faults for your glory.  Give me your joy, your peace, your love… one different from any I can grasp in my own hands so that this world may know that you alone are God.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.