Healing...

Right now, the term "healing" is overrated, I feel more drained now than I did when I was in the hospital! *sigh*

I get out of breath and feel my heart pounding in my ears from walking up 14 steps, but this is probably because I can move faster now... I hope.

Sneezing no longer makes me feel like I'm being torn in two with only the stitches holding me together... At least when I sneeze now, it's only an achy feeling. Good! My muscles and skin are finally knitting together. Yay!!!

Today is the 11th day after surgery... The incision looks good (kinda cool where it curves around one side of my belly button)... The cut is measured at 6 inches with 18 stitches... But now it itches like crazy and scratching doesn't seem to work. *sniffle*

It's hard to appreciate where I currently am... My mind is alert and I want to do so much more than my body is capable of. Frustrating! However, compared to when I was in the hospital pumped full of meds, but dizzy and even weaker... I prefer now... I just don't want to get stuck in this stage!

Thank you Lord that I'm getting stronger and progressively my body is healing. Thank you for the knowledge and hope that I won't be stuck in this semi-helpless stage for forever. It feels weird to have others carry stuff for me, but Lord, I'm very very grateful for the friends and family you have brought into my life to support me when I can't support myself!

Father in heaven... I don't know if I have the strength to go through the subversive life activities and week-long fellowship at a friend's home. I'll be away from the comfort of home, away from my couch set-up just right for watching anime *smirk*, with daily long drives in traffic and on bumpy roads... I'm scared. I'm unsure what my body can handle and how I will feel... But Lord, you've provided everything with the most perfect timing (2 weeks off to do backyard stuff that let me get to be at the strongest point in my life, right into the abdominal surgery)... So how can I doubt that at this time and place, your provision will be any less?

Lord Jesus, I ask that as I step once again into uncertainty, that you continue to heal my body, give me physical, spiritual, and emotional strength! I ask that you take care of our cats while Noel and I are gone at night... That the cats won't act up or feel ignored... That they still feel loved and cared for. I pray that Noel and I will have the strength and courage and willingness to serve as you've called us this coming week. Please give us a peaceful and joyful attitude filled with the knowledge of your goodness as we step out of our comfort zones into whatever path you will guide us into and be present in all the conversations we have with the people we will meet.

In Jesus' holy name I pray and ask these things and more, amen.